DENVER — Everyone at the Death Head show last night definitely noticed you were there all by yourself, and it was “pretty fucking pathetic,” according…
PHOENIX — Netflix has ordered three separate hour-long, stand-up comedy specials from local dad Bob Cecil after his hilarious comedy performance during a family dinner…
By now just about every guy has mastered the art of giving women the Big O on their Little C. You’ve mashed that button. You’ve…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Newly-formed cover band The Good Beats is having second thoughts about playing the afternoon wedding reception of Helen and Juan Garcia,…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Doug McLadden declared his allegiance this morning to the original, three-piece line-up of classic punk outfit Cardinal Malaise, a band he started…
Growing up is hard and it happens so fast. It’s like one day you’re graduating from high school, and the next you’re supposed to be…
LOS ANGELES — Dreamworks Records executive Michael Sawchuk announced earlier today that the label has dropped nü-metal band Papa Roach in favor of a more…
LOS ANGELES — A vintage ’70s-era McIntosh MC2100 tube amplifier, as well as several other priceless pieces of music gear in the residence of Bill…
There are no two ways about it: I’m a BOSS. Do I have to spell it out for you? B-O-S-S, BOSS! I’ve been in the…
DAVIS, Calif. — Sue and Phil Atherton were caught exchanging furtive glances last night in anticipation of the coitus scheduled for while their son is…
LOS ANGELES — Glam-rock hitmakers Buckcherry are releasing a new double-disc concept album this fall, centered around a fictional protagonist receiving a blowjob, confirmed sources…
You’re creative, fun, a little quirky, so why spend money to have a stupid “trained professional” cut your hair? DIY haircuts are all the rage…
SPRING HILL, Mo. — Local roommate Brad Windsor returned home today with a fresh tattoo despite claims of being “completely broke,” according to reports from…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Twin toddlers Gabriel and Mary Windham were accused this morning of abandoning their very attractive mother alone in her car, according to…
My last memory as a civilian is chugging beers at the Warped Tour and jokingly signing up for what I thought was Anti-Flag’s mailing list.…