These days everybody wants to play it safe. Just go to any store right now. What does every cashier say at the end of your…
DETROIT — Local man Marty Chambers reported today that he no longer wants to assume any responsibilities tied to his identity, following the recent news…
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — A seemingly random episode of Frasier syncs perfectly with Orchid’s debut album, Chaos Is Me, according to devout screamo fan and self-described…
Let me start by saying I don’t want to get political, OK? I don’t want to start any fights or flame wars. I just need…
NEW YORK — Adam Lefler, singer/songwriter and frontman for the emo-punk trio Forever Tuesday, is transitioning from an unsuccessful frontman to an even less successful…
CHICAGO — A paper wristband used to denote patrons of legal drinking age was applied in an appallingly lackluster fashion during a show last night…
In our increasingly tech-driven society it seems like more and more new startup products and services are bursting onto the market everyday. At the forefront…
1. There are two Avenger A’s on the poster, as in AA. Perhaps alluding to Tony Starks’ alcoholism arc from the comic books. 2. Overexposed…
SANTA MONICA, Calif. — An adjunct lecturer of American Studies at Santa Monica City College strongly hinted to his class this morning that he had…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local crust-punk Richard Andre married his roommate Morgan Atwell yesterday in a romantic ceremony in which he passed his contagious ringworm infection…
My moral fiber and ethical egoism inform my political leanings. And normally I don’t like to give chicks positive attention, but Ayn Rand can totally…
OK, so my wife just got home early from her girls weekend because Kelli was being “a total, narcissistic bitch, like usual” and she found…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — EMT student Lindsay Taugida set a record yesterday during a class test in reaching 220 beats-per-minute while performing CPR, officials at the…
Look, maybe I don’t dress like it anymore, or go to shows often (or ever), but that doesn’t mean I’m not punk anymore. I’m still…
I Unfriended Everyone I Hate and Now Facebook Sucks
I hate drama, which is why I used to read it from a safe distance on the internet. Social media was my healthy outlet for…