Hey Brad, thanks so much for inviting me to your Halloween party! Just a heads up, I am about to really suck the life out…
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — Journalist and musician Nardwuar is nervously awaiting the nominations for the upcoming Servie Awards, friends close to the interviewer confirmed. “He…
Bang Bang Boom Boom Bang — the crackle of an AR-15? No, explosions from typing on this iPad Pro’s screen A poem to shrivel any…
Anyone who knows me, knows that I’m an ally, I’m a feminist, and I’m woke. That is why I’m shocked and appalled that I have…
BROOKLYN, N.Y — Polyamorous partners Holly Byrne and Amanda Bartlow pledged their never-ending commitment to one another, and to giving unrelenting, unsolicited advice to others…
Hello, I’m Glen and I’d like to tell you a few important things about myself. I believe in an honest day’s work for an honest…
PENSACOLA, Fla. — Mind Melter drummer Ryan Braddox was politely asked last night to take a photo of the rest of his band posing with…
Ever wonder what happened to your God? It seemed like he was EVERYWHERE in ’80s and ’90s, but today, as you watch me replace the…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — 26-year-old Marcus Quinn, giving the appearance of a normal Millennial man on the surface, is completely incapable of expressing emojis, confirmed…
LOS ANGELES — Surgeons at the Cedars-Sinai Medical Center completed an experimental procedure this morning, adding extra ribs to Morrissey’s aging body to prevent him…
Greetings, patriots. I don’t mean to alarm you, but There is a war happening in America right now and right under our noses. 51 percent of…
Taylor Swift’s new song “Look What You Made Me Do” was recently knocked from the number one chart position by rapper Cardi B’s “Bodak Yellow,”…
HUNTINGTON, N.Y. — Members of the Colombo family have successfully hidden their marijuana use from each other for years despite being open about it with…
ATLANTA — Georgia man Scott Stevens claimed today that the festival he’s attending has somehow prevented him from showering since Wednesday, despite the festival being…
These days there are no two words that make my blood boil more than “revenge porn.” To think that some scumbag would take advantage of…