Are you the victim of gaslighting? Of course you are. Everyone you know is lying to you and they all think you are gross and…
MOUNTAIN VIEW, Calif. — Google announced a new navigation mode for its popular Google Maps smartphone app yesterday, offering simulated dad-based directions that will consist…
Earlier this month Sesame Street script and songwriter Mark Saltzman made the claim that Bert and Ernie are, and were always intended to be, a…
PLEASANTON, Calif. — Local punk Jesse Watson is breaking out his collection of AFI records earlier and earlier each year, fellow seasonally sensitive sources confirmed.…
Here at Earth Shields, we set out to create the world’s first direct-to-consumer vegan condom company. Never again will you have to deal with retail…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Get Up Kids fan Will Landis referred last week to the band’s 1999 release Something to Write Home About as their…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Remember, Aries: Mars rules your sign; it does not rule you. Cancel your preorder for those 30 Seconds to…
Listen up! As a white man, I can stay silent no longer. Whatever the most oppressed person in any given room thinks, I am here…
LOS ANGELES — Black metal-themed coffee shop Welkin Thirst unveiled their newest drink today: a spiced latte, containing zested pieces of a rotting pumpkin, black-clad…
Oh neat! A series of new studies have been emerging showing that behaviors once considered dangerous are actually positive qualities. Things like eating bacon, being…
World’s Scariest Police Chases Trying to Make Every Conversation About Them as Difficult as Possible
World’s Scariest Police Chases Trying to Make Every Conversation About Them as Difficult as Possible
PITTSBURGH, Pa. — Pittsburgh punk brats World’s Scariest Police Chases are on a quest to ensure that all discussion about them ends in a confused…
CLEVELAND — Metal legend Dave Mustaine refused to leave the lobby of the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame at closing time early this week…
LOS ANGELES — Reports indicate Drake gives an inappropriate amount of attention to Stranger Things star Millie Bobby Brown, who said in a now-viral interview…
So many beloved musicians are being outed as terrible people. The reputations of these musicians are tarnished to the point where no one can enjoy…
GREENSBORO, N.C. — An aging drum kit living with local parents Barbara and Sam Willett has no imminent plans to leave, despite staying in their…