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30-Year-Old Drum Set Still Living in Parents’ Basement

GREENSBORO, N.C. — An aging drum kit living with local parents Barbara and Sam Willett has no imminent plans to leave, despite staying in their basement for the last 30 years and counting, disappointed sources confirmed.

“One of these days, I’m going to put my foot down,” said Barbara Willett, who has housed and supported the drums since her son left for college in 1996. “I mean, we were all very proud of the drums in high school. I went to every one of their shows — even the weeknight ones. But it’s time they grow up, and take some responsibility for themselves.”

“My nephew’s drum set has been at the university music department for years now, you know,” she added. “And it’s doing just fine on its own.”

The 5-piece 1988 Pearl Rock kit with Zildjian cymbals was initially brought home by her son, Henry Willett, and served as the drum set for several bands throughout his adolescence.

“Yeah, it didn’t seem like much changed,” Henry said after seeing the drums during a recent trip home. “I tried messing around on it, but I don’t think we have much in common anymore. I mean, I got an education, found a job, got married and started a family… meanwhile, the drums are still hanging around the ol’ hometown, doing nothing. I feel bad saying it, but it seems a little pathetic.”

The kit now allegedly spends all of its time in the same room where it once played Fugazi covers with friends every weekend in high school — a room it shares with, among other tenants, a 2nd-place trophy from the 1994 Grimsley High School Battle of the Bands.

“They never stop looking at that damn trophy,” Sam Willett said, before checking that the drums were out of earshot. “Everybody knows ‘Battle of the Bands’ shows are rigged — Barb and I bought a bunch of extra tickets under their band name so they’d get a boost in the voting. I never had the heart to tell them the truth, but I’m starting to wish I had.”

At press time, the drums asked if anyone wanted to watch an old VHS recording of their “epic” Battle of the Bands performance from 1994.