BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Recently deceased man Jerry Davidson confessed on his deathbed last week that Juggalos, the clown-faced fans of Insane Clown Posse, are an…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Newly related step-siblings Kara Sullivan and Aiden Zendowski have very little to no sexual chemistry, confused and frustrated sources living in the…
Shoegaze pioneers My Bloody Valentine changed music forever with their genre-defining album “Loveless.” As it turns out, their name bears a striking resemblance to a…
PRIPYAT, Ukraine — Officials at the Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant discovered yesterday a fourth HAIM sister buried beneath a previously untouched mass of uranium fuel…
MESA, Ariz. — Indie-folk band The Fox and the Nightingale discovered during a jam session at their new practice space last night that what their…
LONDON — “Black Mirror” show creator Charlie Brooker admitted today that he’s struggling to conceive of the scariest thing a rogue FitBit could do as…
Everyone knows this about me — if a dude walked into this bar right now with a gun and fired at my bandmates, I would…
HALIFAX, N.S. — Local band Goblin Fist allegedly sounded just as good last night to the smokers outside the venue as it would if they…
DENVER — Panicked local guitarist Leonard Walsh wiped blood from his face moments ago while insisting his band drop everything, hit the road under cover…
BOSTON — Local psychiatrist Dr. Martina Mevorak counseled her patient Adam Mallory this morning, letting him know that it could take up to six full…
Do you feel a lack of energy, motivation, and general wellness in your life? Sheeple out there will tell you this is due to tangible…
NANUET, N.Y. — Local woman Namya Gupta, the fiancé of indie-rock band Oxford Drama’s songwriter and guitarist, fully believes she is the inspiration behind the…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Shoe and apparel company Vans announced the release today of a new line of tiny chess sets to accompany their signature…
ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local stand-up comedian and single guy Cranbert Nelson told his date last night to listen to episode three of his podcast when…
So you made it all the way home from the grocery store before you realized that the five pound bag of pistachios you bought are…