WASHINGTON — President Trump threw a life-like dummy of himself moments ago off a bridge onto sharp rocks below to seemingly avoid being impeached for…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Vegan punk Angela Birge debuted yesterday her custom, “completely badass” fruit leather jacket, impressing attendees at a local farmers’ market. “I felt…
PACIFICA, Calif. — A Regal Cinemas gift card was transferred last night to a third wallet without once being used despite still carrying a $50…
Whether you’re a fan of the idea of listening to The Psychedelic Furs or a fan of that one Jesus and Mary Chain song, you…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Korn vocalist Jonathan Davis distressed audiences last night by extending the famous vocal solo of the song “Freak on a Leash” well…
HAVERHILL, Mass. — A punk-themed ice cream truck impressed potential patrons yesterday with a raw, energetic version of “Turkey in the Straw” that lasted roughly…
LOS ANGELES — Tensions remain high in downtown Los Angeles today after the discovery that a party bike was rigged to explode the moment its…
The Hard Times needed a win. Facebook has been choking our traffic, and our fans won’t stop tagging their friends in our posts saying “You…
DETROIT — Striking GM auto workers politely rejected yesterday folk singer Joe Nash’s offer to play inspiring, Americana labor ballads as a sign of solidarity.…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local idiot Eli Burkhardt made a fool of himself today by accidentally cutting off his jeans vertically, leaving the back of his…
DUNWOODY, Ga. — Recently dumped dirtbag Jimmy Crocetta is allegedly hoping his ex-girlfriend Christina Jindra will want to still remain friends, send him nudes, and…
I was at this show last night and this totally lame poser in a totally lame poser band was playing his bass with a pick!…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — A man wearing a faded, several-years-old novelty Labatt Blue hockey jersey at an all-ages show last week marked the unofficial end…
MILWAUKEE — Up-and-coming psychedelic blues band Sharp Shave, made up entirely of human-sized, anthropomorphic sideburns, drew dozens of Wisconsinites to a small Milwaukee club last…
BOSTON — Local man, and person with little to no concern for his physical well-being, Travis Ligresti was spotted eating his fifth fruit-on-the-bottom yogurt cup…