MECHANICSVILLE, Va. — Local sous chef Timothy Devino tried to cheer up his potentially depressed girlfriend Jordan Meyer yesterday by serving her breakfast, lunch, and…
Recently, The Hard Times recently had an opportunity to interview influential indie rock band The National. But on the day the interview was scheduled for…
WASHINGTONVILLE, N.Y. — 30-year-old pop-punk fan T.J. Keen pushed the limits of age and style last night by wearing an ill-fitting Joyce Manor T-shirt to…
UTICA, N.Y. — A local hipster was terrorizing shoppers leaving an area Trader Joe’s grocery store yesterday, asking if they’ve ever heard of legendary Upstate…
NEWPORT BEACH, Calif. — Termagant Pharmaceuticals product strategy intern Jeremy Hastings impressed colleagues last week by receiving more allegations of sexual harassment than any other…
Recently, the elitist SJWs of The Hard Times took a moment out of our busy lives of canceling posers to visit some dusty old butthole…
FAIRFAX, Va. — Known procrastinator Dave Lowary has started smoking cigarettes in an apparent attempt to end his life, concerned friends and relatives confirmed. “I’ve…
NEW YORK — Democratic Presidential hopeful Andrew Yang defended himself this morning when a small, highly opinionated faction of citizens were offended by recently surfaced…
DANVILLE, Calif. — Local man Owen Nelson was completely convinced last night that the entire world is run by an elite cabal of billionaire financiers…
Many people will tell you that the US version of the Office GIFs are better than their UK predecessors. Those people are simply wrong. Maybe…
NEW YORK —The Misfits updated their show rider yesterday, demanding the marshmallows in their Count Chocula cereal be separated from the rest of the food…
PASADENA, Calif. — Classmates turned and stared expectantly yesterday at high school student and local punk Samuel “The Cat” Chesters after geometry teacher Selena Bryson…
BETHESDA, Md. — A grande-sized pumpkin spice latte for Karen called the police moments ago on a black cold brew coffee sitting on the other…
Here at the Hard Times, we like to revisit albums that we are required to revere. Many of these works have forever changed the way…
WILMINGTON, Del. — An alarming new study out of the University of Delaware finds that the average millennial punk has to steal significantly more from…