OMAHA, Neb. — Frontman/songwriter of folk/punk trio Astor tried to write lyrics as haiku poetry, but kept messing up the last line, sources confirm. “I’ve…
I’m trying to think of this emo band but I just can’t remember their name. They were huge in the early 2000s and their music…
LOS ANGELES — The number of new recruits joining Tiger Army has reached an all-time low, according to numbers released today by the Tiger Armed…
EL PASO, Texas — The legal team at Williams & Ruprecht was stunned today when a seemingly normal stack of divorce papers devolved into outright…
All too often, health gurus and ex-partners will tell you that guzzling an endless stream of low-quality lager is incompatible with healthy living. I’m here…
LOS ANGELES — Local girlfriend Ashley Wagner mistakenly believes Bryce Latterby, her boyfriend of six months, is actively engaged in a sultry conversation with Instagram…
People are always coming after my friend Steve for being “racist,” but I prefer to think of him as “descriptive.” There’s nothing wrong with a…
HOUSTON — Self-proclaimed “bad boy of outer space” Willis McReady cost the National Aeronautics and Space Administration approximately $3.4 million last week, cutting the sleeves…
BOSTON — Local record store owner Hank Lapkus is an anxious mess lately, spending every day hoping his customers don’t find out about the popular…
We Built This City on Nu Metal and Now Our Entire Public Works Budget Is Devoted to JNCOs and Salvia
We Built This City on Nu Metal and Now Our Entire Public Works Budget Is Devoted to JNCOs and Salvia
Most called us crazy when we initially came up with a plan to build an entire city based around an early 2000’s alternative metal genre.…
CUPERTINO, Calif. — Apple released a surprising new report today, revealing that the average iPhone owner uses roughly half of their storage space to save…
Us rich and hot people receive so much love on a daily basis that we often forget practicing self-love is just as important, if not…
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — Cabs, heads, and amplifiers of all kinds outnumbered attendees for a weeknight doom metal show last night at local bar Jimmy’s…
STAFFORD, Texas — 59-year-old custom bathroom tile salesman John Canales was shocked to learn from his punk son yesterday that he would be 413 in…
When you told me you’d never heard The Mountain Goats before I was over the moon. Finally, I got to give someone the gift of…