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5 Ways to Practice Self-Love That Pretty Much Only Work If You’re Rich and Super Hot

Us rich and hot people receive so much love on a daily basis that we often forget practicing self-love is just as important, if not more important, than love from others. We are the best, after all. Our love is just worth more. That’s why I put together this list of all the things you need to get started practicing self-love, assuming your parents are rich and you are super hot, obviously.

1. Sell Yourself on Instagram Daily

Start a daily practice of posting photos of yourself on Insta every single day. Preferably on your yacht or, for those less fortunate, your sailing catamaran. Be sure to show off your smokin’ hot body and watch those sweet, sweet likes flood your push notifications. Allowing others to show you love through a social media platform gives you all the validation you need to practice self-love.

2. Look in the Mirror and Straight Up Tell Yourself How Hot You Are

Posting photos of yourself online is a great way to show yourself that you don’t need anyone’s approval, but what if your phone is dead? Well, here’s a life hack: A few times a day take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how absolutely stunning you are. And if you aren’t familiar with mirrors, they’re like big phone screens that always have their cameras front-facing. Or as us rich and hot say, “on flip.”

3. Compare Yourself to Others

Ever see a homeless person or a Twitter page with only 20 followers? Fucking yuck. Next time you encounter one of these horrors (fingers crossed you never have to, love!) use this as an opportunity to practice self-love and think, “Isn’t it amazing to be me?!” See, it’s important to take time to recognize those more fortunate than them, like yourself.

4. Cut Out Toxic People

It can be difficult to recognize who is toxic in your life and there are a few red flags to look out for. First thing you should do is take an inventory of all your friends and rank each and every one of them. If they’re not incessantly telling you how attractive you are, they’re probably toxic. If they don’t like any of your selfies on Instagram, cut ‘em! If they succeed and that makes you unhappy, throw their toxic butts to the curb!

5. Forgive Yourself the Second You Start to Feel Guilt

Have you ever ruthlessly stabbed your friend in the back for personal gain or totaled your parents’ Range Rover after you took it out for a joyride without their permission? Well forgiveness is a virtue, just like you. So forgive yourself. You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life. Plus, if your parents are anything like mine, they can just buy a new one! Removing negative vibes from your heart just makes more room for more love! Specifically, self-love.