VERNON, Calif. — Top executives representing oil companies around the country remain concerned that they will not have enough soldiers to fight for non-renewable resources…
The road to success is not traveled in the backseat, it’s traveled with you in the driver’s seat, or perhaps walked by foot, or maybe…
Not a day goes by that I don’t hear someone bitching about not being able to afford a home. They claim the economy is dogshit…
It’s hard being a rich punk. Especially when you’re not rich. So my parents got me a sweater for Christmas. The good news is it…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Your good friend of 17 years Bryce Evans once again proved that his immense wealth and family connections leave him unable…
LOS ANGELES — Archibald Van Heusen III’s shock upon seeing a guest in full punk regalia at a Getty Museum fundraiser caused his monocle to…
NEW YORK — Popular dictionary manufacturer Merriam-Webster made an unexpected change to the definition of “self-made” to include musicians with only one wealthy, connected parent,…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Attendees at a recent Foo Fighters concert were treated to a special surprise when the band brought fans on stage to play…
WARRENTON, Va. — Local children were confused by the Halloween offerings of Mr. and Mrs. Owens, who handed out full-sized copies of Judge’s rare 1989…
COLTS NECK TOWNSHIP, N.J. — Legendary musician Bruce Springsteen recently admitted that he made up the “American working class” during a creative dry spell. “By…
In today’s highly connected and ultra competitive world, parents want to give their children every advantage possible. As anyone who’s ever seen a Tarantino movie…
WASHINGTON — Local punk Dave Murphy has a weirdly small TV which is causing great confusion, concern and disappointment in his social circle, according to…
Power to the people! ACAB! Eat the rich! That’s what we would have told you 30 minutes ago, but we just taste-tested some white wines…
THOUSAND OAKS, Calif. — Local high school freshman Mason Daniels was forced to become a member of his local punk community after a self-administered haircut…