LOS ANGELES — MasterClass released a five-hour course on circumventing manslaughter charges taught by legendary filmmaker, and director of “The Twilight Zone” movie segment which…
“Nice place?” What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I live in a one-bedroom basement apartment with minimal natural light, you condescending asshole. Who…
DUCKBURG, Calisota — Multi-billionaire businessfowl Scrooge McDuck is questioning his decision to convert his wealth to cryptocurrency after realizing he would not be able to…
HOLLYWOOD — Shortly after its acquisition by Amazon, MGM and Eon Productions announced this morning that the next James Bond film will follow the titular…
SEATTLE — Local cat owner Robbie Kratchiz admitted yesterday that his cat tree was the most expensive piece of furniture in his entire apartment, sources…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Seminal punk band Green Day are reportedly heading back into the studio this week to record a new, “blistering” single venting their…
AUSTIN, Texas — Elon Musk announced earlier this week that he will name his next child in the style of a Sudoku, one of his…
There are approximately 135 screen versions of Charles Dickens’ apocryphal tale of ego reversal “A Christmas Carol” from Scrooge McDuck, to Tim Curry, to George…
MUNICH — Luxury car manufacturer BMW will finally implement turn signals in all of their vehicles by 2022, according to a press release sent out…
SAVANNAH, Ga. — Local punk Jake Stanton used a photo of a trashy apartment as his Zoom background yesterday to hide the true nature of…
I’m just a normal, average billionaire. If you prick me, do I not bleed the same virgin-transfused blood as any other billionaire? I come from…
Us rich and hot people receive so much love on a daily basis that we often forget practicing self-love is just as important, if not…
IRVINE, Calif. — Virtually every single punk attending the Bucket of Dog Shit record release show today is terrified everyone else will find out about…
Did you know that most poor neighborhoods have a lead amount of 15 ppb? I don’t know what that means but we need to make…