MEDFORD, Ore. — Local punk Lena Kovacic confused audience members at her improv show last night when she refused to take crowd suggestions from “morally…
SEATTLE — Competitive barista Boris Demman was rushed to the emergency room yesterday when a carafe of fresh pourover was dumped over his head in…
Folk punks everywhere can rejoice (and not just because God’s ears are stitches lolol!!!); thirty-year old Nick Peterson finally got kicked out of his parents’…
SEATTLE — Politically correct punk Michael Favata was delighted to learn yesterday that his band’s bassist is currently dating a girl Favata previously hooked up…
DENVER — Attendees of a local pop-punk show last night reported The Only Wish bass player Robert White’s Godflesh shirt suggested he’d much rather be…
MANHATTAN, Kan. — Bleary-eyed local woman Sharon Esses reported this morning that the only consistent part of her bedtime routine is lying awake and contemplating…
Rockabilly revival icons Stray Cats have enjoyed a longevity few other rock bands can tout, reuniting continuously and even recording a new album this year.…
WASHINGTON — The heavily anticipated Million Frontman March, meant to promote brotherhood and unity while taking a stand against backstabbing, entered its 17th consecutive day…
NEW YORK — The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals released a new commercial this week, set to the Leftöver Crack song…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local man Greg Kaiters enjoyed reading a nice chapter from a book at the Bridgetown Rose Saloon last Friday night after spending…
Oh no! Did my words offend you? Pweease don’t kwyy, I sowwy— just to be clear, that was a baby voice, not a problematic accent,…
DALLAS — Former Shit Scrotum frontwoman-turned-real estate agent Nell Marsh is confident the unfinished basement featured in her latest property listing will be a major…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local punk Philip Allers took advantage of this week’s Black Friday chaos, completing all of his holiday shoplifting at a nearby Target…
KINGS PARK, N.Y. — Local punk Joe Ricchio finally bonded with his fanatical sports fan father last week, thanks to the multiple self-inflicted head injuries…
Did you know that most poor neighborhoods have a lead amount of 15 ppb? I don’t know what that means but we need to make…