LONDON — Legendary Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards is completely oblivious that he will soon embark on his final string of performances, confirmed the Lord…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Real-deal, bloodsucking vampire Count Adhemar Chauve-Souris was vehemently dismissed as a poser today by mall goths he was recruiting for his gaggle…
BETHPAGE, N.Y. — Hardcore quartet Breakpunch accidentally created a rift in the Long Island hardcore scene last night by inadvertently covering the entire set of…
Have your band practices been awkward ever since your bass player Mike quit and you replaced him with a dude named Mark who sort of…
LODI, N.J. — A group of neighborhood kids scattered and hid for the rest of the afternoon yesterday after their baseball accidentally smashed “crazy old…
LOS ANGELES — 36-year-old skateboarder Rodney Sanders found himself in a great moral predicament yesterday when he sided with irate property owners after watching various…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — An episode of the mental health podcast Forgetting Sarah Tonin went unrecorded this week due to technical difficulties, leaving nothing but a…
Like, seriously. I’m asking honestly, do you all hate me? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid but I sometimes feel like you’re all…
DAYTONA BEACH, Fla. — Local man Jamaal Andie, a.k.a. DJ SKRAMZ, asked several DJs and showgoers last night at the Apex to loan him their…
LOS ANGELES — Punk legend and filmmaker Glenn Danzig’s debut horror film “Verotika” will be available exclusively on Netflix later this month, with a direct-to-”Mystery…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Touring punk band Pull Start are eagerly anticipating the next completely disastrous occurrence to befall them during the remainder of their five-week…
LUBBOCK, Texas — Aging punk and amateur life coach Robbie Ginsburg was charged today with criminal negligence after authorities discovered four of his mentees died…
LANGHAM, Saskatchewan — A Beta Cucks show last night at the Langham Legion Hall was interrupted when a windmilling punk was tilted by a mysterious…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A new biography titled Coming All Over the Country, chronicling the life of frontman Ollie Campbell of Ollie Campbell and the…