Yep, that one! The cylinder with the red shiny wrapping paper. That’s yours — go ahead and open it, Mom. Hope you like it. Merry…
LOS ANGELES — Everclear frontman Art Alexakis was “honestly not surprised” his father made no appearance at the family Christmas gathering for the 52nd year…
CHICAGO — Holiday icon and present delivery mogul Santa Claus admitted this morning that he snuck Bandcamp links to his latest lo-fi EP, “Jingle Beats…
This holiday season, we here at The Hard Times wanted to offer our audience something nice. With all those expensive goods wrapped up and sitting…
NORTH POLE — Members of the organization Stop Treating Animals Badly [STAB] rescued eight reindeer yesterday that were allegedly being exploited by a reclusive hoarder…
Before we start eating, I’d just like to say what we’re all thinking. This is our first Christmas without Uncle Randy. Obviously, we all dearly…
WHITMAN, Mass. — Small town police officer Patrick O’Brien is looking forward to reuniting with old friends and classmates while they’re in the back seat…
ELKTON, Md. — The audience at Saturday night’s The Foothold Precinct show proved to be physically unable and unwilling to give it up for themselves…
ANCHORAGE, Alaska — Local 14-year-old Colton Blewitt resisted the urge to tell his father he loved him today, fearing the declaration might be perceived as…
You may say there’s no such thing as Santa, but me and my Grandpa, we believe. We know all to well that jolly old son…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local 33-year-old Tom Marshman was sorely dissapointed today to learn he is actually “37 fucking years old” after glancing at his…
SILVER SPRING, Md. — Attendees of an all-ages hardcore show last night were treated to the arrival of local straight edge punk Brett Williams, riding…
PHILADELPHIA — Your friends Amber Lakely and Kevin Vasquez promised you today that you wouldn’t feel like a third wheel if you join their weekly…
It’s every beer pong player’s worst nightmare. Worse than getting shut out. Worse than playing with Milwaukee’s Best. Even worse… than losing to a chick.…
COSTA MESA, Calif. — Local indie band TunnelFuzz are facing criminal charges today, and are officially banned from all Orange County venues after allegedly dosing…