PORTLAND, Ore. — Local punk Tim Bell talked himself into an assault charge yesterday after aggressively confronting a police officer in attempting to talk his…
CHICAGO — Local metalhead Gary Dwyer cannot wait to “pound a sixer” of Old Style in the parking lot before Riot Fest, get nauseous, throw…
If you think Detroit is bad you wouldn’t last a day in my world. I was born and will likely die in a place America…
PHOENIXVILLE, Pa. — Local punk Logan Sharp is leaving her hometown and bandmates for the “new gig” she just booked in Seattle, which in actuality…
AKRON, Ohio — Overprotective parent Carol Miller is reportedly having the “time of her life” after insisting on accompanying her son on a 10-day tour…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Guitar effects pedal manufacturer Strymon announced today the release of a new, $1000 reverb pedal called the BigNothing, which models its cavernous…
With concern over the side effects of psychiatric medication on the rise and the ability to afford said drugs on the decline, more and more…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — A thriving, local punk scene has developed around high school freshman Rory Ferguson, a 15-year-old whom sources confirm has the best…
NYACK, N.Y. — Two desperate singles ignored glaring red flags on their Tinder date early this week after discovering that they share the same favorite…
NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — Local man Aaron Mendle simply wet his hair in the sink yesterday and wrapped a towel around his waist when he…
Dear Claire, This letter will probably not come as a shock to you, after your shameless performance at White Castle last night. Frankly, I don’t…
DAVIS, Calif. — Indie-funk-fusion band Bougie Juice broke their social media silence yesterday with an apologetic post after five weeks without a status update on…
DAYTON, Ohio — The United States of America was embarrassed to admit it accidentally double-booked two mass shootings within 24 hours of each other, sources…
BALTIMORE — Local anarcho-punk Tommy Mauro “totally doesn’t give a fuck,” but does prefer guests use coasters, even if it’s “no big deal, and also,…
BOISE, Idaho — Touring band Star Monkey traded one of their roadies last night to fellow touring band Tree Destroyer, exchanging him for a new…