RICHMOND, Va. — Small-time weed dealer Joel Dilts confirmed today that he knew the crisp $50 bill he received yesterday from a regular customer for…
In the event that there are any marine biologists, firearm experts, or, I dunno, active coast guard members reading this, we need help NOW. Earlier…
HILO, Hawaii — Active volcano Mauna Loa retracted it’s strict “virgins only” policy last week and is now open to accepting sacrifices of people who…
Who is your favorite Beatle? Some choose the harder-rocking, experimental John Lennon. Others prefer the technical expertise of George Harrison. Hipster contrarians make compelling arguments…
TACOMA, Wash. — The funeral for moderately popular local musician Adam Klein was rather well-attended despite being held on a Tuesday night, sources who waited…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local folk-punk band Monte and the Paupers surprised themselves last week, accidentally booking a gig that would actually pay them for their…
No way! Check it out! You won’t believe it! Woah. Get over here! I didn’t believe it but it’s true; take a look for yourself!…
FLATWOODS, Ky. — Local woman and sloppy-wasted friend Kara Stanley offered a play-by-play account moments ago of the “absolute ass-kicking” she would’ve given that dude…
It’s hard to believe that Bright Eyes’ “Fevers and Mirrors” was released almost 20 years ago. It’s even harder to believe that upon revisiting this…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Local concertgoer Sam Byrne watched the entirety of Knife Rat’s set last night through the gauged ear of the man in…
HOUSTON — Houston Roughnecks quarterback P.J. Walker turned heel earlier today by hitting several teammates with a steel chair and then ripping off his jersey…
WASHINGTON — Local anarchist and socially awkward person Cynthia Mejia paced outside of The World Bank for nearly two hours this morning, unsure how and…
Oh shit! This brave 30-year-old up-and-coming stand up comedian, amateur photographer, local guitarist, and aspiring actor/model Kenny Key is totally gonna try to move down…
FOUNTAIN HILLS, Ariz. — Totally jacked local man Chris Wilkins reportedly spent years preparing his body for retribution on his high school bully Darren Tyler,…
Sum-41 will forever be known as the band that made the bold stance of being not as good as Green Day, but worse than Good…