TACOMA, Wash. — The funeral for moderately popular local musician Adam Klein was rather well-attended despite being held on a Tuesday night, sources who waited in line to pay their respects for almost an hour confirmed.
“We aren’t at capacity, but this is certainly more than I expected on a weeknight,” said funeral director Maury Templeton. “I need to put out more coffee and orange juice, because these mourners are just cranking through it. And I might have to call in another greeter — I only have one on staff tonight, and with a turnout like this, she might get fatigued from all the ‘sorry for your loss’ and ‘down the hall on the right’ messages she gives everyone at the door.”
Friends of the deceased musician say a lot of hard work went into getting the word out about the funeral.
“As soon as we had a date and venue, we really started pounding the pavement to get people to come out. We had a full street team hanging posters on telephone poles and handing out flyers outside of shows,” said Ruby Lippset, a long-time fan of Klein. “I personally paid for a half-page ad in the Tacoma Weekly advertising the funeral, along with a :30-second radio spot that played on a few of the local rock radio stations. It’s important that everyone gets their chance to say goodbye.”
However, members of Klein’s family admitted they were frustrated by what they described as “fairweather Adam” fans crowding the proceedings.
“This is such a joke. They’ve probably only known about Adam for like, two or three years, tops. I’ve known this kid since he was negative days old,” said Klein’s mother, Rachel Klein. “I don’t remember seeing any of these people at his second grade music recital, or his 10th birthday when he got his first guitar. Can they even name three times I had to change his sheets because he wet the bed until he was 14? I fucking doubt it. Stay out of the front row and quit filming all the readings from the Bible on your fucking phones.”
At press time, most of the attendees were planning to go to a nearby Denny’s for a post-funeral meal.