Press "Enter" to skip to content

Folk-Punk Band Accidentally Books Paid Gig

ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local folk-punk band Monte and the Paupers surprised themselves last week, accidentally booking a gig that would actually pay them for their time.

“We’re used to playing out in front of grocery stores or gazebos at public parks, and taking whatever cash people are willing to throw in a bucket,” said mandolin player and defacto frontman Monte D’Amico. “By some stroke of luck, we actually got asked to play on the patio of a nearby bar. They gave us four drink tickets to split between the 16 of us, and told us we’ll get another $40 at the end of the night. I thought it was a cruel prank at first, but it seems like it’s all real. I’m thinking we spend half the money and invest the rest to set us up for the future.”

Pat Lister, the music booker for Abbie’s Tavern, claimed he’s never had a band be so appreciative following a performance.

“They were so confused when I handed them a check. I swear, I think one of them started to cry,” said Lister. “Even though they were all very sweet people, they were easily the worst smelling band I’ve booked, despite having both a washboard player and a washtub bassist.”

The band’s mascot/manager, a Cairn terrier named Bongo, will reportedly pursue more paid gigs for the band in the future.

“This was the first time in a long while where I got to eat real food following a gig. I didn’t have to dig pizza crust out of the trash and fight over it with the guy who hits a handsaw with a stick,” said Bongo. “If we can play a few more shows that pay as much as the last one, we should be able to get enough cash to bribe the security guard at the railyard to look the other way so we can ride the rails and do a proper east coast tour. The possibilities are endless.”

Following their sudden success, accusations that the band has “sold out” are already flying, with fans pointing out that two members of Monte and the Paupers were spotted buying cigarettes at full price instead of their usual method of finding half smoked stubs in the parking lot.