Oh my gosh! There’s nothing like an adorably incompetent government to make us forget our woes, even momentarily! After over a month of quarantine, the…
TRENTON, N.J. — 31-year-old punk William “Billy Club” Moore’s new model-building hobby is primarily just a socially acceptable means for the scene elder to continue…
HOUSTON — Local man Joseph Graciano spent the past 72 hours obsessively streaming “The Simpsons” on Disney+ looking for anything else that could portend doom…
SAN FRANCISCO — Pornhub saw a drastic spike in searches for “groups of more than 10 people” this quarter, the result of a new but…
Our country is teetering on the brink of oblivion. Governments are looking to dismantle our very way of life and revoke our rights from under…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Up-and-coming black metal band Desolate Slaughter are hurriedly shooting album art tonight after their bassist Rob Moore died mid-rehearsal, sources still waiting…
Weeks of shelter-in-place left one unlucky man’s sleep schedule completely turned around! James Walters, a thirty-year-old father of one and the only person on the…
WASHINGTON — The recently added census question, “What is your darkest fear?” has sparked confusion amongst citizens filling out the questionnaire, U.S. Census Bureau officials…
Like any responsible citizen I keep track of international news and, while this isn’t an endorsement of the leadership of Kim Jong-Un or North Korea,…
WASHINGTON — The U.S. Federal Government announced today that, due to a plummeting economy related to the COVID-19 pandemic, it will layoff three states in…
HOLLYWOOD, Calif. — Celebrated filmmaker Quentin Tarantino is not handling social isolation well and is allegedly getting very sick of having to film his own…
SPRINGFIELD, Va. — A surprising new study found that in reality, your cat’s voice sounds nothing like the lispy, insultingly cutesy voice you always do…
It’s time to call a spade a spade and say that Trapt is the absolute greatest band of all time. Got a problem with that?…
SEATTLE — Online retailer Amazon officially declared moral bankruptcy today thanks to their ongoing, unethical treatment of employees amid the coronavirus pandemic. “These are unprecedented…
Abuse comes in many forms and it doesn’t always appear on the surface. Physical abuse leaves marks on the skin. Emotional abuse leaves marks on…