QUEENS, N.Y. — Patrons of neighborhood dive The Rowdy Owl discovered yesterday that potentially contracting COVID-19 was the least dangerous part of the recently reopened…
We here at The Hard Times love guitar players! Sure, we might rag on them from time to time because they never practice, they’re always…
CHICAGO — Fast food behemoth McDonald’s announced today that they will remove the McRib from their menu worldwide to enable mascot Ronald McDonald to effectively…
Wow, that’s so incredibly gracious of you to reach out and share the carefully crafted demos you recorded in your friend’s basement while blackout drunk!…
BALTIMORE — Local barista Eli McDermott’s home is now completely furnished with the cast-off old furniture of his rich friend following his acquisition of his…
A Facebook friend’s apparent descent into the world of alternative medicine led me on an hours-long quest for the truth: Was Andrea Cooper’s newfangled interest…
PHILADELPHIA — Local bassist Aaron Scherzinger realized today that he only needs to murder two or three of his bandmates to be promoted to frontman,…
LOS ANGELES — The holographic image of late heavy metal icon Ronnie James Dio has broken away from its original programming and is now working…
From ‘Meet the Fockers’ to ‘Little Fockers.’ We Dropped the Ball on Our Robert De Niro Retrospective
From ‘Meet the Fockers’ to ‘Little Fockers.’ We Dropped the Ball on Our Robert De Niro Retrospective
Robert De Niro. Just saying his name evokes images of some true American classics. In the world of cinema, few have a level of star…
ELIZABETH, N.J. — Local terrier mix Baxter Mitmann wasted his incredible gift yet again this morning of being physically able to put his own mouth…
SAN DIEGO — Local man Lyle Vaughn covered up his beloved Keith Morris-era Black Flag tattoo yesterday with the more age-appropriate Henry Rollins-era Black Flag…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Researchers at The University of Nebraska-Lincoln’s Department of Psychology have found that setup phrases such as, “News Flash, Dickhead” are overwhelmingly followed…
EDGARTOWN, Mass. — Residents of the popular New England summer destination Martha’s Vineyard reported that a local coot and grizzled sailor known only as “McGill”…
ANDALUSIA, Pa. — A group of preteen boys playing in the woods yesterday were “totally meh” after stumbling upon a first-generation, unlocked iPhone chock full…
Here’s a Made up Story About the Recording of Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’ Because the Real One Is Super Boring
Here’s a Made up Story About the Recording of Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’ Because the Real One Is Super Boring
So we’re about halfway through the second paragraph of the Wikipedia for ‘Ten’ and the only thing we’ve learned so far is that Pearl Jam…