SAN FRANCISCO — The oft-ridiculed snare sound from Metallica’s 2003 album “St. Anger” announced yesterday that it will also run for the U.S. Presidency in…
NEW YORK — Local drivers and pedestrians too busy looking at their phones to watch where the fuck they’re going consciously updated the reserved bike…
As a proud American, I’m always looking for new business ventures. After a lot of research, my wife and I decided that we should start…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Storm of Justice vocalist Thad MacDuggin’s camouflage clothing and short-cropped hairstyle led to him being thanked again yesterday for his service despite…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Ridiculously attractive man and recent Milwaukee transplant Josh Billingsley left dozens disappointed today after confirming that he has a lifelong, loving relationship…
LOS ANGELES — AMC Theatres introduced a new COVID-safe, jumbo refillable popcorn face mask last week, doubling down on their effort to welcome back weary,…
ATLANTA — Local record collector and vinyl enthusiast Annie Gordon flipped her pancake to “side B” yesterday, taking extra time to carefully and dutifully prepare…
2020 is a year of cultural transformation. It’s been personally difficult for me, as I didn’t know racism still existed. And upon further internet searching,…
TUPPER LAKE, N.Y.— A family of raccoons near a campsite in the Adirondack Mountains were forced last night to protect their hard-earned food from a…
I’m sending out this message because I made a mistake and now I’m in grave danger. On my annual drive up to Holyoke to visit…
WASHINGTON — QAnon finally added a Black, female villain to its substantial cast, now that Kamala Harris has accepted the nomination for Vice President, conspiracy…
The night is young. You have a Monster Energy Drink in one hand, and a Mad Dog 2020 in the other. Your knuckles are already…
DALLAS — Amateur musician and anti-mask advocate Charlie McGill forcibly removed the pop filter from a mic stand yesterday while recording vocals for a new…
Coward Hour is the least-informed podcast in America. Each week, leading cowards/disgraced comedians Brendan Krick & Nik Oldershaw spiral on mic, commit gaffes, and descend…
HAGERSTOWN, Md. — After months of working from home, local parents Ron and Melinda Zimmerman came to the stunning realization yesterday that their teenage son…