When I was an impressionable youth, I was corrupted by cigarettes. At the tender age of 16, smoking ads were everywhere, displaying cool people wearing…
TOLEDO, Ohio — Local man Joseph Whitt described moments ago his relationship with hardcore tankie and politically communist girlfriend Stephanie Arlin as being “totally workable…
Am I the future of Gonzo journalism? I sure hope so, because my behavior today endangered my marriage, traumatized my son, and may result in…
LOS ANGELES — Local record store Forever Records is offering a new home delivery service, in which a crate of personally selected vinyl is sent…
WASHINGTON — RNC Chair Ronna McDaniel announced today that the fourth night of the Republican National Convention will feature wall-to-wall advertising from their new exclusive…
It’s time for our Adopt-a-Pet post of the week, in which we highlight wonderful pets that are looking for their forever home. This week, we…
HACKENSACK, N.J. — A new report from the Brookings Institute has found that nationwide gym closures due to the coronavirus have left the nation’s weird,…
Everyone on planet Earth knows “Mambo No. 5.” Even if you were merely an egg in your mother’s womb at the time, you heard it…
ISLIP, N.Y. — Everything Done in Latin frontman Lawrence Joseph has lost interest in the band he’s been part of for 15 years after the…
FLAGSTAFF, Ariz. — Callahan’s Casket Emporium will offer a “Back to School Blowout Sale” this year, offering discounts of up to 50% on last year’s…
LOS ANGELES — Legendary metal band Goop has reunited after seven years apart to release a boring, flavorless craft beer dubbed “Goop Soup,” disappointed fans…
SIOUX CITY, Iowa. — Local man Derrick Carney was mercilessly beaten within an inch of his life last night not long after learning that police…
With the Verhoevian monster truck rally that is the Republican National Convention finally upon us, we here at The Hard Times decided that the only…
MOFFAT, Colo. — The entire local punk scene of a small town in southern Colorado is named Denise Killian, age 27, a lone source reports.…
LOS ANGELES — Following the success of “The Big Bang Theory” and its spinoff series “Young Sheldon,” CBS announced today that another spinoff entitled “Dead…