SIMI VALLEY, Calif. — Up-and-coming male pornstar Dixon Nixon was seen online early Friday morning flashing a brand new flash tattoo of a heart and banner reading, “Step Mom,” horny sources reported.
“I wanted to do something to honor her, considering how much she’s done for me,” said the 27-year-old Nixon, who was born Jackson Nichols. “All the times she tutored me in tight blouses, woke me up on time in sexy and creative ways, and made sure I got to school without a massive boner really made a difference. I probably wouldn’t have graduated community college without her getting stuck in the washing machine or the doggy door all the time.”
Once Nixon decided to get a tattoo, he took pains to make certain the artistic tribute was worthy of its muse.
“At first, I was considering getting a photorealistic portrait of my stepmom,” Nixon explained. “But then I remembered I film like, four stepmom scenes a month, each with a different woman, and realized I had to rethink my tattoo. I love all my stepmoms equally, and getting only one of their sweet racks tattooed on my ass wouldn’t be fair to the rest. That’s why I went with the classic, bannered-heart design: It’s abstract enough to honor every MILF I’ve had, or will have, the honor of motorboating.”
For his part, Nixon’s tattoo artist was perplexed by the commission.
“It was weird. This insanely beefy man with a goatee and the worst jewelry I’ve ever seen comes into my shop and asks me to add the word ‘step’ to his ‘mom’ tattoo,” said Andrew Kaplan, a Los Angeles-based tattoo artist. “But everything makes sense knowing he’s a pornstar. Nobody else likes their stepmom, let alone loves them enough to get a dedication tattoo, unless she’s banging them quietly next to her giant-dicked sleeping husband who is definitely gay.”
Nixon is allegedly considering a companion tattoo dedicated to his stepsister.