Some artists leave such an impression that their music begins to feel like home. Regardless of mood or situation, these bands transport you to a…
BETHESDA, Md. — Uber Eats is critically overburdened by President Trump’s quarantine and is begging for FEMA assistance after just a few days, according to…
Is there anything better than an ice-cold beer? I don’t know about you, but at the end of a hard day, or when the impending…
SEATTLE — Local guitarist Sadie Love swore today that her new button maker will be well worth the startup cost once she hits her break-even…
NORWALK, Conn. — Local punk and low-ranking member of his friend group Brandon Smith is reportedly completely unaware of his status in the hierarchical structure…
QUEENS, N.Y. — Aging metalhead Greg “Nailgun” Dellarose has replaced the patches on his battle vest with his important, personal health information, including known allergies…
LEBANON, Ohio — After seeing hundreds of political posts that end with “let that sink in,” local man Dick Babcock took a stand today by…
Anyone who’s ever been to a wedding can tell you the music is the main attraction. That’s why I poured a significant amount of research…
CAPE CANAVERAL, Fla. — Police detained NASA astronaut Charles Washington today as he boarded the Orion V spacecraft during launch preparations, demanding to know if…
WASHINGTON — Luxury fashion designer Hugo Boss AG has been selected to create a bold, new uniform for Immigration and Customs Enforcement [ICE], the federal…
ESSEX, Conn. — Former precocious teen Clarissa Darling has gone from “explaining it all” to spending the majority of her time on Facebook explaining why…
Californians were warned today to protect themselves by staying both inside and outside, due to the ongoing risks associated with the Covid-19 pandemic as well…
2020 has been a shit show. Not here to argue that. However, it was pretty fucking cool when the government gave us that $1,200 stimulus…
HEMPSTEAD, N.Y. — Self-described “emo kid” and 40-year-old elementary school teacher Tucker Grating reminded his class today that when spelling certain words, it’s helpful to…
AMERICA — An overwhelming majority of rational Americans announced they were suddenly infected with hope, an emotion thought to be eradicated following the 2016 election…