SEATTLE — Local tambourine player Owen Albrecht of prog rock band BSMNT is hoping to follow in the footsteps of idols like Linda McCartney, Tracy…
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we review the classic songs off of “Collection…
SEATTLE — A six-year-old purple otter pop was granted a new life purpose as a DIY ice pack after a record heat wave hitting the…
HEAVEN — Local divine and benevolent deity, God, updated His LinkedIn profile yesterday, changing His title to Content Creation Ninja in the first step to…
After years of careful research, it appears we are finally getting closer to identifying which member of Blink-182 wrote the song “Aliens Exist.” You know,…
CHICAGO — Local barista Jeffrey Stern had a creative breakthrough after thinking of the perfect name for a band that will never exist outside of…
WASHINGTON — A CDC annual report detailing the various causes of death in the United States noted that “being crushed by a falling piano,” while…
MIAMI — First time nude beach goer Simon Lowell made fellow nudists uncomfortable with his obvious anxiety surrounding what to do with his hands and…
Where are my manners? I mean, it’s not every day you get your own intervention with this many people. I didn’t think we would ever…
OMAHA, Neb. — The Britney Spears ‘90s classic “…Baby One More Time” being played between sets at a recent hardcore show easily garnered the strongest…
Look, I know that these days everyone goes around acting like they’re President of the Sodom and Gamera fan club. I see their merch everywhere,…
FORT WAYNE, Ind. — A friend whom you haven’t spoken to, texted, or shared an Instagram exchange with in the past 15 months put you…
Hello, I just moved in next door and wanted to introduce myself. I am also legally required to disclose to all people living in a…
OLYMPIA, Wash. — Local straight edge 22-year-old Niki Mishtia once again proved that he is perfectly capable of acting like a moron without using alcohol…
SEATTLE — Local homebody Jenny Wellmeyer experienced generalized anxiety due to the overwhelming pressure to go do something outside while the weather was absolutely gorgeous,…