ORLEANS, Mass. — Local tattoo enthusiast Danny Lipinski’s latest tattoo depicting the cast of “Friends” engaged in a pansexual orgy is being described as “an…
Girlfriends are always trying to fix you. Eat healthy. Get your GED. Don’t forget my birthday. At a certain point, you have to start living…
MESA, Ariz. — Over-indulgent guitarist Marky Pritchard was careful to make sure none of his roommates were home before he churned out some truly masturbatory…
“Succession,” Jesse Armstrong’s captivating drama about a Rupert Murdoch-esque tycoon and his backstabbing family, is arguably HBO’s most widely watched and respected show since The…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother Meredith Ashby displayed a performative expression of surprise and intrigue at a neighborhood cookout yesterday afternoon after reaching into the…
Look, I’m desperate and I don’t care how embarrassing this is anymore. This year I decided to participate in the No Nut November internet challenge.…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Local teenager Valerie Booth reluctantly made the choice to be goth after reviewing her wardrobe consisting entirely of black hand-me-down clothes…
In today’s fast-paced world time is precious, and my generation is fond of pointing out how many time-draining in-person interactions could easily be reduced to…
SEAFORD, Del. — Townspeople have taken notice of a feral rat who is now on day seven grieving a transient punk who recently passed away…
I never understood paid family leave. If people want time off to relax and sit around then they shouldn’t have made a resource-sucking clone of…
ST. LOUIS — Audience members were upset at a local punk show last night when touring band Metallicunt revealed themselves to have a token girl…
DURHAM, N.C. — Local graphic designer Kendra Thayer was relieved to wake up intact after an intense night of introducing herself to three complete strangers…
DENVER — Local cryptocurrency trader, Evan Silver, pushed the limits of the definition of ‘friend’ when discussing a current relationship in which he was “put…
They say that you should be kind to all people because everyone is fighting an invisible war that you know nothing about, but what about…
PHOENIX — Aging members of local metal band Toxins in the Bloodstream are deep in a spiraling debate about whether they should go all-in with…