Success! My grandma got run over in a freak reindeer accident which puts me one step closer to my family’s fortune. Look, I’m just an…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. – Notorious asshole Bill Finley was kidnapped in the middle of the night by a disembodied paranormal entity and taken on an…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Perpetual IPA drinker Benson Watley is reportedly relieved, albeit secretly, that he can now enjoy hard seltzers without the social stigma once…
Did you hear the news? Santa Claus is coming to town! For most, that means putting out the cookies and milk and eagerly awaiting his…
LAUGHLIN, Nev. — Touring band Jug Blowers attempted to avoid the drama of last year’s disastrous holiday festivities by enacting a firm two drink ticket…
Charles Dickens’ 1843 novella A Christmas Carol tells the story of Ebenezer Scrooge, an old miser who is shown the error of his ways by…
SACRAMENTO — Local post-punk heroes Modern Error have been on the verge of collapse due to lead singer Jeremy Larson refusing to help bring in…
In what can only be described as a Christmas miracle, the holiday news cycle has brought us yet another heartwarming tale of how love can…
PROVIDENCE. R.I. — Benny Davison is not sure if his relationship with his wife of six years, Tara Davison, is serious enough that they need…
So, it’s your first Christmas as a couple and your partner’s family insists you both come out for the holidays. No point in trying to…
ST. LOUIS, Mo. — A team of doctors at Barnes Hospital completed an unprecedented surgery when they successfully removed a pair of wraparound sunglasses from…
NORTH HALEDON, N.J — Local mother and intolerable gift-giver Lisa Whitaker was physically unable to restrain herself from sharing which Christmas gifts she got on…
ATLANTA — Two cubicle neighbors who haven’t seen one another in over twenty-four months are basically caught up on one another’s lives in under a…
So, you’ve created a dystopian nightmare version of your hometown by wishing you had never been born after a clerical error put your business in…
FERNDALE, Mich. — Thirty-year-old male Ryan Hess took a significant step toward curating a sophisticated and presentable home space when he reached out to his…