JACKSONVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Wynn Hall updated their resume yesterday evening to include “selling plasma” following a long history of selling their own bodily…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Greg Fitzwater began scrolling through his targeted ads to try to piece together what happened after waking up from a…
Every once in a while we feel like we have to get back to our roots. It’s become even more important in this time of…
ORLANDO — The local scene took notice when highly lauded community hero, Terrence Mann, was left out of those named as 2021 Nobel Peace Prize…
Woah! What’s with the impromptu music quiz? I’m just minding my own business yet you feel comfortable to come up to me, a stranger, and…
MALIBU,Calif. — Folk music legend Bob Dylan was recently rushed to a local Doctor’s office because of a strange, almost train whistle-like sound emitting from…
They encompass all backgrounds, all religions, all ages over 14. These findings are revolutionizing what we know about anthropology and culture at large. We surveyed…
DETROIT — Local metalhead, 36-year-old Denny Brokum, is reportedly willing to admit that he hasn’t heard of the band Scatological Wasteland but is confident that…
PEMBROKE, N.H. — Local crackpot Denise Bemis recently hit a roadblock in her conspiratorial ramblings when she began trying to comprehend how the USDA Food…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Singer/songwriter Joan Schuller is back in the studio after a 12-year hiatus making what sources excitedly report to be the worst album…
You’ve waited for what feels like hours. Your mouth is watering. Your nose smells the moist warmth of the starchy tuber. It’s finally time to…
SEATTLE — Local man Troy Ritter announced his departure as the longtime merch guy for indie band Inside Cat to embark on a solo merch…
MILAN, Italy — The incorporeal specter that has haunted the historic La Scala opera house for more than two centuries recently came to accept the…
AUBURN, Maine — Local resident Charles Brennan’s screen door proved to be an effective way to measure the sobriety of guests at his house party…
Okay, I’ll only admit it, I only got this tattoo because I want people to ask me about it. Just thinking about the flood of…