As a prominent member of the Republican party who receives a sizable check from the NRA biweekly just for doing their bidding without question, I’m…
GLENSIDE, Pa. — Pennsylvania senate candidate John Fetterman vows to support universal healthcare for scene veterans, old heads, and all the real motherfuckers in the…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — New Jersey-based punk, and massive acid enthusiast, Lionel “Tabby” Winnet is reportedly “confused but going with it” upon finding himself at bat…
SEATTLE — Thirty-seven-year-old father Peter Goodman recently sat down with his son, Jamiroquai, to explain the intimate mechanics of sexual maturity, which by Goodman’s description…
LOS ANGELES — The completion of the fourth season of “Stranger Things” left Americans yearning for a simpler time when the nation was led by…
I went into my therapy session this week grinning ear to ear. I felt more connected to my therapist than ever and I knew we…
WASHINGTON — Senate minority leader Mitch McConnell reportedly spent the week in a luxurious DC hotel while the coffin he sleeps in was re-lined, creeped-out…
Let’s face it, we have a problem here in America, and it’s spiraling out of control. We see it on the news every day, a…
PHOENIX, AZ – Local bassist Winston Crowe of punk band Sloppyfoot hit the gym to begin a new head nod training regimen which he hopes…
This band used to really rock. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t even think they’re all that bad now. It’s just that their old stuff…
Want to write for The Hard Times? We accept freelance pitches all the time. What we like to see is a knowledge of the punk…
BELMAR, N.J. — The partial remains of self-proclaimed Weezer fanatic, Lance Figaro, were found washed up on the beach after it was suspected he was…
Oh, you like the “Stranger Things” soundtrack, huh? Yeah, it’s pretty nice. Modular synths, analog warmth — you’ve got to love those lush retro vibes.…
Timmy, I need to start treating you like the young man that you are. Hell, you’re practically a teenager. It’s time to grow up, give…
WASHINGTON — U.S. Marshals discovered a mysterious package outside of the Supreme Court which was later revealed to be an Edible Arrangement sent from Taliban…