Please allow me to introduce myself, I’m a man concerned with global warming. My name is Orlov von Maximoff, a former Romanian count, but you…
WASHINGTON — A new report from the National Institute of Health finds that rates of insomnia claimed by many late-thirties and forty-year-olds are totally valid…
MINNEAPOLIS — Frustrated local teen Amber Bronte complained to anyone who’ll listen, that the cursed amulet she unknowingly purchased at a haunted thrift store doesn’t…
PORTLAND, Ore. – Goth and frequent cemetery visitor Madison Gardiner had her day ruined by a “comically loud” grieving family saying a last farewell to…
Over the years I have received mounting criticism for exercising my right to wield a homemade knife glove and enter the dreams of local children.…
Kinda Spooky I Guess: The Band We Came To See at This Dive Bar Broke up 30 Years Ago This Very Night
Kinda Spooky I Guess: The Band We Came To See at This Dive Bar Broke up 30 Years Ago This Very Night
Our tour van broke down in one of that small town full of secrets/Twin Peaksy type places. We had to wait till morning for our…
NORFOLK, Va. — Local boyfriend Byron Hogarth admitted that his lack of a bedframe was a conscious choice to avoid the possibility of monsters hiding…
NEW YORK — Legendary auteur director Phillip Schaeffer was reportedly trapped in his Criterion closet and forced to survive on nothing but his own films…
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. — Sullen members of goth-rock band Vacant Belfry are reportedly embarrassed with their new guitarist’s proclivity for perpetually donning a big floppy…
It had been five years and five months since Paramore last graced our eardrums with new music, but on September 28th the veteran pop-punk band…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Local man Mike Jarbowski finally decided to seek medical treatment for the twisted, demonic face growing out his back after weeks dealing…
This week we were excited to take a look at Rise Against’s “Nowhere Generation,” which Loudwire ranked as the 42nd best rock/metal album of 2021,…
DETROIT — Crowd members attending a show headline by doom metal band Wretched Wizard questioned the band’s authenticity when they noticed their lack of long…
I know you’re super busy working two jobs and getting your real estate license in your free time, so I’ll be quick. Did you get…
Hey everybody, look at this poser in the Black Flag t-shirt! Real original, asswipe. Did you get it at Target, in the Goodfellow and Company…