IRVINE, Calif. — Susy Q’s, a new ‘50s-themed diner, opened its doors recently, revealing a shocking rockabilly presence within the city to the crowd attending…
SHERIDAN, Wyo. — Elder millennial Connor Allison suffered an existential crisis upon realizing the actor playing a “geriatric old fart” in one of his favorite…
SANTA FE, N.M. — Attendees of last night’s set by scene legends Beyond Silent were surprised to notice that, for a solid few minutes, everyone…
No one can deny that McDonald’s is one of the most successful, recognizable, and beloved businesses in American history. We can all agree that the…
WHEELING, W. VA — Aging punk roommate Dennis “Onion” Wilkins ritualistically bequeathed the key that allows them to steal toilet paper from Wendy’s to his…
Going to see a show is a great excuse to dress up. Over the last few years though, it feels like everyone in the scene…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local tattoo artists are preparing for a huge wave of clients requesting the absolute stupidest, dumbshit tattoos possible in the wake of…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Shipping conglomerate FedEx announced a massive hiring effort to recruit hundreds of staffers dedicated to fucking up vinyl records during the shipping…
So you love horses. Well, I get it! Unfortunately, people who don’t love horses do not get it. That’s why us horse girls must stick…
NEW YORK — Emo fans remain shaken to their core after the release of the previously unthinkable: a new track from acclaimed emo group Across…
PHILADELPHIA — A black Roomba S-694 autonomous robotic vacuum cleaner is, in fact, the only tenant in a local punk house with a job, according…
Each week, The Hard Times travels back and revisits a notable album from the past. This week we’re doing a deep dive on Taking Back…
SANTA BARBARA, Calif. — Hollywood composer Danny Elfman was reportedly dejected after his proposed score for an legitimately haunted carnival was turned down, according to…
BOSTON — Local ray of sunshine Sarah Bootley openly and unashamedly enjoyed Naval Tomb’s show from the front row last night, sources who wished she’d…
At times, the burden of all-encompassing intellect can be especially difficult to shoulder. The impossibility of stimulating all possible thought processes at once means even…