Is there anything more adorable than two animals who become photogenic friends? While some people don’t find their hearts warmed by the sight of a rabbit and an owl who like to snuggle and take naps together, those people are likely sociopathic monsters. Everyone knows unlikely animal friendships are the best. There is, however, a dark side.
It turns out the emotional depth and complexity needed to forge partnerships that will turn you into a quivering pool of feels also create some weird, passive-aggressive relationships between animals that make one of the animals always have to do all of the emotional labor and always pick what they do for lunch, even though it’s the other animal that is always shooting down their lunch ideas.
Check them out!
Gherkin the Hamster & Pickles the Gerbil: We know what you’re thinking: two different kinds of pudgy rodents being friends? That’s crazy! But Gherkin and Pickles are best buds and do everything together from digging through sawdust to drinking water from that weird upside-down bottle thing. The only thing that’s concerning is how Gherkin always wants to do lunch but makes Pickles choose where they’re going to eat, and though Gherkin claims to be open to anything… she’s not.
Calvin Cockatoo & the Cat Who Lives Next Door: If cartoons taught us anything, it’s that a little bird and a big orange cat should be natural enemies! But these two good friends just love to hang out together without anyone eating anyone! In fact, no one ever eats anything at all, because fucking Calvin has a problem with every single Chili in town, but no ideas of his own.
Patient Gus & This Fucking Elephant: We stan the two-decade-long friendship between this Galápagos giant tortoise and this unnamed elephant, but we cannot for the life of us understand how Gus can deal with that peanut-eating asshole hemming and hawing for 90 minutes about whether they get Thai or Japanese, insisting that Gus decide, then immediately bringing up how much they like whatever he didn’t pick.
Alan the Otter & Alan the Black Labrador: These two love to swim together and have the same name and it’s so fucking awesome we cried, but that otter needs to realize he needs to put less pressure on other Alan to always come up with a new restaurant to go to and act like he’s weirdly disappointed if they ever go to the same place twice. It’s not your fucking birthday, Alan. It’s just lunch.
Taffy & Toffee: These two Golden Retrievers aren’t just best friends, they’re brothers! Too bad Toffee can’t go anywhere Taffy picks out because he has mysterious “allergies,” but won’t ever come up with anything himself.
Fuck’s sake, Toffee.