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“Big Fan” Whispers Every Cop Walking By Andrew Tate’s Jail Cell

BUCHAREST, Romania — Law enforcement officers detaining controversial online influencer, misogynist, and sex trafficker Andrew Tate reportedly keep whispering “big fan” every time they walk by his cell, confirmed multiple sources.

“It’s not every day we get a real-life celebrity in our jail,” said Police Chief Simon Puscas. “Every police officer I know subscribes to his YouTube channel so I’m just hoping his lawyer will let him talk to us because my wife has really been riding my ass lately and I’d love his advice on how to handle her. We even have officers from other precincts coming over to make sure he’s comfortable. Mr. Tate can rest assured that as long as he is within these walls we will do whatever we can to help him, it’s a shame that women are trying to drag down someone who empowers men to buy his online course for as little as $49.”

Tate, who was arrested last night on human trafficking and rape charges, has been surprised by how well police are treating him.

“Yeah mate, I’ve signed more autographs in the last eight hours than I can count. And each one of these cops keeps apologizing for arresting me. It’s nice to know I can reach so many people,” said Tate from his prison cell. “I got moved to this really nice cell with a great view of downtown, a big flat-screen tv, and they let me keep my phone. This is almost like a little vacation. I’m even planning on doing a little talk tonight about how all cops embody the warrior spirit and how they should be rewarded with as many women as they want.”

Critics of Tate were happy to see him arrested but worry he will not be held accountable.

“The evidence against Andrew and his brother is pretty overwhelming, but even that wasn’t enough to have them officially arrested and charged. They are only being held for questioning,” said Emelie Haas, a popular left-wing podcaster. “They will both get off, they will both go back to being scumbags, and now they will even have people in law enforcement watching their backs. It’s a shit system, you just have to hope he crashes one of his cars into a telephone pole.”

At press time, police officers encouraged Tate to use the precinct phone to prank call Greta Thunberg.