ST. LOUIS, Mo. — Local crust punk Lou “Canker Sore” Schultz revised his bucket list to include getting a disease named after him in an…
171 search results for “"crust punk"”
BOULDER, Colo. — Local crustie Dylan Waters was asked to hold his pose for “just a little bit longer” while a portrait artist added the…
NEW YORK — Local crust punk Phil “Rat Face” Howland took creative measures last week to turn his uneven beard into a stronger representation of…
HENDERSON, Nev. — Model train enthusiast and man possibly on the brink of madness Jonathan Mackay is reportedly “sick and tired” of finding crust punk…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Scientists and well-wishers gathered earlier this week to watch as a crust punk affectionately known as “Shiv” was released back into the…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local crust punk, who asked to be identified as “Tik Tak,” was disgusted to learn that the two new dumpsters placed outside of…
MAMANUCA ISLANDS, Fiji. — Crew members currently filming the latest season of “Survivor” were shocked to discover that a scab covered, emaciated, crust punk they…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local crust punk Rusty Steinman reportedly multiplied at a rapid rate after coming into direct contact with water, confirmed weirded out sources.…
AUSTIN, Texas — A crust punk dog was forced to terminate his owner last week after the owner contracted a sudden illness that quickly spiraled…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local Crust Punk Jonas “Spleege” Johnson was recently released from county jail after explaining to authorities he was only siphoning that gas…
TORONTO — Crust punk Seth Ulrich tragically bled to death yesterday after making the unfortunate decision to floss his teeth for the first time in…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Local crust punk Elliot Schreiber had the dick tattoo on his face completely blacked out by pranksters early this morning after…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Crust-punk presidential candidate Leo “Swamp” Marsh revealed plans today to slash employment opportunities during an impassioned campaign speech held in vacant hotel…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Local crust punk Zachary Kaiser was seen asking patrons on the patio of Inkwell Cafe if they were planning on eating their…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Local crust punk Ben “Diggz” Cooper asserts that the steady drip of a window-mounted air conditioner he stood under for 15 seconds…
Can't find what you're looking for? Try refining your search: