DURANGO, Colo. – Employees at a local insurance office were granted permission to arrive to work baked out of their goddamn gourds and reeking of…
Were you one of the seven billion people in the world not at Coachella because you had to work? Well, you actually didn’t miss out…
LOS ANGELES — Canned water brand Liquid Death and Blink-182 drummer Travis Barker are collaborating on a new collectible enema kit that has proctologists around…
LOS ANGELES — Popular job board Monster.com recently posted a position that was clearly about becoming the new frontman for Mötley Crüe, hesitant applicants reported.…
With a career spanning over two decades, New York punk darlings Bayside have given their devoted fan base eight albums to laugh, cry, mosh, and…
LOS ANGELES — Local priest Father Charles Bovie recently pronounced newlywed social media influencers “wife guy and wife” during their wedding ceremony, doomscrolling sources confirmed. …
Has the passion drained from your bedroom? If so, you’ll want to spice things up with a mix of tried-and-true and adventurous sex positions. So…
WASHINGTON — Ousted Fox News personality Tucker Carlson is looking for a new gig which would allow more freedom for the racist diatribes that shaped…
ANAHEIM, Cali. — Local middle-aged man Shawn Hampton felt the full effects of venti Starbucks cold-brew and told friends that he felt he was at…
The Britpop sensations known as the all-conquering Oasis were best known for the confrontational interviews, powerful eyebrows, and even occasionally the music they produced/plagiarized. Prior…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — The entire crowd at last night’s A Day to Remember concert once again gave off the overpowering stench of hockey pads, nauseated…
Every scene has unsung heroes. From the roadies to the merch guy to the dude who buys teens liquor, the scene is comprised of individuals…
SLEEPY HOLLOW, N.Y. — 38-year-old Jason Andrews recently came to the conclusion that his most revered album of the year was none other than Spotify’s…
What does it mean to be “punk” anyway? That question has been debated for decades, but we can confidently say these five examples are as…
Cursive is such a criminally overlooked band that many public schools have cut them from their curriculum entirely. We here at the Hard Times believe…