HELL – Local Angel of Darkness, Satan, gifted metal icons Slayer with an 18-karat gold watch as a thank you for their 37 years of…
WASHINGTON — Police officers broke up a rowdy Capitol Hill gathering early Saturday morning after receiving noise complaints from several neighbors, multiple sources report. “Shit,…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump visited a White House doctor this week for his annual physical examination as part of his free, government-subsidized health care and…
I think it’s more important than ever, in these chaotic times, that we maintain our right as Americans to arm ourselves in self-defense. That’s why…
LOS ANGELES — Rage Against the Machine vocalist and Planet Fitness member Zack de la Rocha finds his workout motivation by listening to House of…
DENVER — Local all-around garbage human Russ Mitchell was totally grossed out by a female musician’s armpit hair during a show on Tuesday night, according…
EARTH, Milky Way Galaxy — 2017 announced its resignation as our current year earlier today amidst numerous allegations of gross misconduct. “I’ve let a lot…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Local libertarian Peter Murphy faced off against and won a rousing debate last night against his radical, left-wing activist girlfriend who doesn’t…
MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Local PC punk band Ally Brats played a touching tribute at the Hi Tone last Friday to their deceased punk hero Jay…
BALTIMORE — Researchers at Johns Hopkins University released a study today, proving that the average guitar player swallows up to eight guitar picks every year.…
Owning a home is an immense responsibility, especially in an economy still recovering from last decade’s housing market crash. As a homeowner myself, I can…
SANTA FE SPRINGS, Calif. — Hundreds of concertgoers came forward this week, accusing the famed Warped Tour festival of enticing them to a litter-strewn field…
AMERICA — Americans across the nation are struggling to remember their previous holiday traditions as they prep for their first Christmas season after eight years…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump lashed out today during an early morning Tweet storm, panning left-leaning media outlets across the country over their positive coverage…
NEW YORK — VICE staff members were reportedly saddened by the recent closing of celebrated DIY space Huevos Ranch, which will be converted into a…