PHILADELPHIA — Local anarchist punk band Hidden Rebellion discovered yesterday that every member of the group is actually an FBI plant, shadowy sources confirmed. “Our…
SAN DIEGO — Local punk Chris Abernathy regretted his impulse decision to buy merch last night, wishing he waited until the show ended to purchase…
MACON, Ga. — Local diner and well-known “disgusting shithole” Rocky’s Grill has reportedly been hosting local punk rock shows at night in what’s being called…
Fuck, every input on Dan’s PA is broken? Check the third one. The third one always works. No, you have to use a little bit…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Show organizer Nora King was forced to rely on her do-it-yourself ethos again moments ago to have an orgasm, after her casual…
Perhaps no genre on earth has seen as many iconic band logos as punk rock. There is The Ramones’ crest, The Descendents’ Milo cartoon, and…
LOS ANGELES — Filming of reality game show “Fear Factor” came to a halt yesterday afternoon when self-proclaimed “punk as fuck” contestant Charles Edgarton would…
COLUMBUS — Local man Louis Contreras enthusiastically noted Monday morning that a man wearing a Turnstile T-shirt was in the background of a breaking news…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local punk and notorious overthinker Ben Handley was relieved last night to attend a show so loud, he couldn’t even hear…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local prankster Tyler Russell got more than he was prepared for yesterday afternoon when an attempted prank call to punk rock icon…
Listen, I’m always down to support my friends’ bands. I wanna be there for them and go to their shows but let’s be real, most…
BROOKLYN — Local hardcore band Abandoned delighted audience members last night with a set comprised of all four members “absolutely tearing up” their pecs, lats,…
WASHINGTON — The Environmental Protection Agency, in connection with the Trump Administration, announced yesterday that it is rolling back Obama-era restrictions on where Virginia-based thrash…
HOUSTON — Tragedy nearly stuck at a nearby Long John Silver’s last Sunday when no concerned patrons or workers felt comfortable administering CPR on choking…
Who the fuck does this band ‘Propagandhi’ think they are? I just listened to their latest piece of anti-American garbage, Today’s Empires, Tomorrow’s Ashes, and…