NEW YORK — Heavy metal outfit Awakened Flesh, vocal critics of arena rock band Ghost both in person and on social media, is said to…
BELLINGHAM, Wash. — Longtime members of legendary drone-metal band Earth are reportedly annoyed by a recent performance that was perpetually interrupted by the narration of…
President of Pantera Fan Club Referred to as “Grand Wizard”
ARLINGTON, Texas — The fan club for popular heavy metal band Pantera reportedly uses the same title for its president as the leader of the…
MINNEAPOLIS — Touring sludge metal band Butt Abduction recently realized they can’t fire their deadbeat merch guy until they’re able to regain access to the…
Metalhead Plays it Safe by Wearing That One Johnny Cash Shirt He Owns While Visiting In-Law’s
FREDONIA, N.Y. — Local metalhead Sam Barnhill decided it would probably be a good call to wear his lone Johnny Cash t-shirt to his in-law’s…
Metal Injection Office Installs Big Red Phone That Rings Whenever Footage of Vince Neil Singing Like Shit Surfaces
NEW YORK. – The Metal Injection offices recently installed a giant red phone designed to alert staff members to any new videos of Motley Crüe…
LOS ANGELES — Cult film director Gustav Heinrik’s latest project “Black Sabbath: Go Heavy or Go Home” shines new light on the idea that the…
Metalhead Relieved Religious Coworker Just Going to Pray for Him Instead of Reporting His T-Shirt to HR Department
ENDICOTT, N.Y. — Metalhead and production worker at a local bottling plant Louie Moore breathed a sigh of relief after one of his religious coworkers…
PUEBLO, Colo. — Local man Trigg Barrett hoped that the Diarrhea Planet t-shirt he put on would distract his girlfriend’s parents from his more offensive…
ARLINGTON, Va. — Math metal band Cosine recently ended a practice early after guitarist Clint Alfred refused to provide documentation for his latest riff, irritated…
The Best Warped Tour Lineups That Will Give You Heat Stroke Just Thinking About Them
For many self-identified weirdos, Warped Tour was the perfect yearly gathering. It combined the best of alternative music and culture for a fun day in…
Opinion: Pop Songs Existed in the ’80s So Nu-Metal Bands Could Perfect Them in the Late ’90s
Many regard the 1980s as the golden age of pop music. Many popular songs of the decade laid the foundation for the mindless, cash-grabbing, soulless…
Five Finger Death Punch Fan Spends Entire Paycheck on Airbrush Stenciled Pocketknives Again
CHIPLEY, Fla. — Diehard Five Finger Death Punch fan Aaron Stummerer recently squandered all of his weekly earnings on shoddily-made knives with tacky, patriotic designs…
TAMPA, Fla. — Murderkiller vocalist George Kostner admits he takes pride in the fact he hasn’t committed a single lyric from any of his band’s…
Kirk Hammett Fears it May be Too Late to Rejoin Exodus
LOS ANGELES — Thrash metal legend and rhythm guitarist for Metallica Kirk Hammett admitted he has serious doubts that he’ll ever be able to rejoin…