CHICAGO — A new meandering voicemail from your dealer indicated that “Donnie Darko is still the movie you absolutely must see in order to understand…
The year is 1974. Your band Van Halen is starting to get a little bit of buzz around Pasadena and the surrounding areas of Los…
WASHINGTON — Following the Supreme Court’s 6-3 decision to strike down President Biden’s debt relief program, Justice Clarence Thomas released a statement saying students should…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local worry-stricken mother Deborah Gale is desperately pleading with her adult son Stephen Gale to leave his New York City apartment for…
LONDON — King Charles recently decided enough time has finally passed to have the Queen’s beloved corgis formally executed in a public beheading, not totally…
LAS VEGAS — Punk Rock Museum attendee Keith Pauline admitted to being a bit confused about the origins of a pile of vomit in the…
STERLING, Va. — Well-meaning local mother Marla-Sue Crenna reportedly left a record-breaking lull in the story she was in the middle of telling as she…
WEST CHESTER, Penn. — Self-proclaimed “DIY bro” Clifton Mansfield reportedly concocted a convoluted and completely fictitious backstory as to how he discovered his favorite new…
LOS ANGELES — Internet commenters who enjoy wasting their valuable time leaving snide remarks on social media posts by canned beverage purveyors Liquid Death were…
RENO, Nev. – Local music fan Roger Dalton remains steadfast in his opinion that Poison’s seminal hit “Talk Dirty to Me” is a “fucking jam”…
WASHINGTON — Local man Michael Korey spent the last couple of days frantically searching for a second job after seeing multiple Goldendoodles around his neighborhood,…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local record store Death and Waxes added “staff pick” signs at certain urinals in their restroom to let customers know which ones…
PARIS, France — Daft Punk reportedly re-joined forces after officially disbanding in 2021 in order to collaborate with manufacturing giants 3M on a new collection…
DETROIT – Members of the 17-day-old Which Hunt Artist Collective have confirmed that they have not only disbanded but fully intend on “hating each other’s…
NEW YORK – A local BDSM play party took a turn for the stressful when dominant “Silvan E” absentmindedly fed Nutella to their puppy play…