VAN NUYS, Calif. – Local flavor enthusiast Daniel Wilson proved his dominance to a table of friends by openly declaring his love of spicy food,…
MISSOULA, Mont. — A look of terror and shame reportedly ran across your very own face just now upon the creeping realization that the can…
It’s an annual tradition for the straight edge scene elders to convene and discuss potential rule changes to make being straight edge less appealing and…
SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local 20-year-old hardcore kid Cody Macklin remains ignorant to the fact that he is celebrating his last Edge Day this year, disappointed,…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local woman Carissa Whitley was reportedly billed 500 million dollars during a recent visit to Riverside Veterinary Center with her 3-year-old Labrador…
CAMDEN, Conn. — A blockbuster study conducted by Quinnipiac University found that on average, 10 out of 10 American doctors unilaterally believe that being paid…
BOSTON — Music fan Sean Tanner was nearly bankrupted after a wild night of slamming seltzer at a recent Jeff Rosenstock show, sources close to…
It’s not every day you stumble upon someone with the ability to read others’ emotions, people who have a keen understanding of the human psyche.…
PATERSON, N.J. — Jeff Ackres, a prominent adult virgin, is currently deciding between tempting recruitment offers from both the involuntary celibate community and the fandom…
RICHMOND, Va. — Local woman Monica Langley reported that the constant negative feelings surrounding her new apartment were a direct result of a near-fatal carbon…
The best thing about music, whether it be punk or metal or any genre of music that has been around long enough to establish strong…
GUILFORD, Conn. — 36-year-old punk Finn Birch is reportedly telling everyone about the show he went to this weekend, with roughly 90 percent of his…
LOS ANGELES — Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) announced the addition of a new terminal only accessible by taking a regional flight before departing for…
ARLINGTON, Va. – Girlfriends across the US recently announced their newfound enthusiasm for seeing a three-hour movie in theaters thanks to “Taylor Swift: The Eras…
MINNEAPOLIS — An abandoned building that used to house a popular microbrewery in the heart of downtown will be repurposed back into a manufacturing plant,…