DETROIT — Mike Avery, the legendary frontman of 90s hardcore band Turnaround has recently been spotted working at a terribly shitty job. Avery, widely considered…
THE SCENE, Hard. — Too many people think of hardcore retirement as a problem for people in their 30s and 40s. The truth is, the…
OLYMPIA, Wash. – Local punk Kyle Watkins, 33, made the startling discovery that his ex-girlfriend Erin McCoy is a completely normal productive member of society now, follow up…
INDIANAPOLIS – Despite his best efforts, local straight-edger Chris Weaton, 23, has been following the “don’t fuck” rule laid out in Minor Threat’s 1983 song “Out…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. – With more than half of the world’s population living in urban areas, it’s no surprise both the cultural and physical landscape of…
LOS ANGELES – A study recently completed by scientists at the University of Southern California has concluded that wearing beanies with band logos restricts blood…
REDDING, Calif. — Local 14-year-old Taylor Kohle is unclear if he is still allowed to like sports after purchasing Minor Threat’s “Complete Discography,” family sources…
WASHINGTON — Seven punks are dead and hundreds more were injured after the front man of an opening band told a joke at a DIY basement…
LA JOLLA, Calif. — At a recent benefit show to save the Che Cafe, local man Mike Callahan hung from the rafters during a CrystalxVision…
OAKLAND, Calif. — A local anarchist has been stuck in a heated debate with his iPhone 6 app “Siri” for 37 straight hours. Topics have…
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. – You won’t be the only straight edge person around the table this holiday season, because your aunt has loudly declared she will…
USA – A recent spike in GG Allin sightings has been linked to Christmas tree lots sprouting up around the nation, according to Christmas tree…
PHOENIX — Brian Seymour was visibly upset while handing out his band’s CD-R demo near the exit of a local heavy metal club Saturday. According to…
BOSTON — In a shocking display of preparedness, local hardcore promoter John “Big Red” Davis has decided to preemptively raise funds for the next time…
Enough is enough. Your mother and I have put up with this for far too long. It is time for you to move back home.…