Sure, it happens to the best of us- You’re reading the internet’s funniest satire site, The Babylon Bee. You get to the bottom of a…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local punk Tim Bell talked himself into an assault charge yesterday after aggressively confronting a police officer in attempting to talk his…
PHOENIXVILLE, Pa. — Local punk Logan Sharp is leaving her hometown and bandmates for the “new gig” she just booked in Seattle, which in actuality…
NYACK, N.Y. — Two desperate singles ignored glaring red flags on their Tinder date early this week after discovering that they share the same favorite…
NEW PALTZ, N.Y. — Local man Aaron Mendle simply wet his hair in the sink yesterday and wrapped a towel around his waist when he…
DAVIS, Calif. — Indie-funk-fusion band Bougie Juice broke their social media silence yesterday with an apologetic post after five weeks without a status update on…
DAYTON, Ohio — The United States of America was embarrassed to admit it accidentally double-booked two mass shootings within 24 hours of each other, sources…
BALTIMORE — Local anarcho-punk Tommy Mauro “totally doesn’t give a fuck,” but does prefer guests use coasters, even if it’s “no big deal, and also,…
BALTIMORE — New cooking website Death Comes Cooking will offer readers a refreshing take on the usual recipe/blog formula by beginning each entry with a…
PHILADELPHIA — Several local punks noticed an increased movements of pins, buttons, and other accessories from jackets and coats to backpacks and messenger bags with…
WILKES-BARRE, Pa. — Undercover journalist Teddy Eckart just needs to spend another two or three years investigating a lascivius and highly erotic sex cult in…
PORTLAND, Ore. — 28-year-old chronic insomniac Griffin Harper finally got some good sleep last night after a single paragraph of his friend’s “radical” political zine…
ABINGTON, Mass. — Local birthday girl and outspoken anti-capitalist Beth Crowley received no birthday gifts for the third year in a row, thanks to friends…
CHICAGO — A federal judge ruled Monday afternoon that all emo kids who were profoundly affected in some way by a Victory Records release are…
NETTIE, W. Va. — Over 25 percent of a local grandma’s Facebook friends list is comprised of women her youngest grandson dated over the last…