So the long nights of partying, getting wasted, and 2 am Taco Bell have taken a toll on your aging, squishy body. You figured it’s…
Cats. They think they’re so fucking above it all, with their fur and their tails and their crepuscular-ass lifestyle. But you know what? They’re not.…
You need quality assurance from your HVAC repairman. That’s why it’s imperative that you, the consumer, know for a fact that your HVAC guy is…
As a nod to traditional western values, local misogynist John Buswell told his new girlfriend to get her fat ass in the kitchen and make…
Look, there’s no easy way to say this so I’ll just come right out with it: I enjoy having more money. Wow, it feels good…
I was minding my business and enjoying a candy bar when the craziest thing happened! A crowd surrounded me because I found some dumb coupon…
When it comes to TV shows, I like to play it safe. You can usually find me rewatching the classics: Seinfeld, Friends, maybe even a…
As influential as it is divisive, Hyperpop has been seemingly inescapable in recent years, but it’s classification is a little murky. What is Hyperpop? Is…
I’m not sure how this happened and I don’t know how to make it stop. One minute I was minding my own business, listening to…
As the world’s climate changes, certain sacrifices must be made, but why should the burden fall on man alone? We’re already drinking out of cardboard…
Are you someone who struggles to make connections with others? Do you continuously fail to initiate meaningful conversations, you boring, boring fuck? Are you looking…
So the time has come yet again for a new tattoo. How exciting! These days, most tattoo artists primarily work through Instagram, using it as…
What can we say about Gen Z that hasn’t already been texted, tweeted, or TikToked? Regardless of how you feel about the generation that made…
Terrible things every day but when the residents of West Chester, Ohio heard that local first-grader Erik Richey was diagnosed with terminal cancer, they decided…
At ease, soldier! Just kidding, I know you’re not in the military. Don’t tell anyone but neither am I. But it’s authentic-sounding phrases like that,…