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Skateboarding Defines Me as a Person in That I’m Not Good at It and Don’t Know Why I Keep Trying

I am a skater. Skating is who I am. While the rest of you were off learning how to read and understand traffic signs, I was out there with my board practicing in the alley that has the one sign that’s like a big white arrow with some letters. Whatever that means.

It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when skateboarding became my entire personality but I would estimate it was the day Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater came out. Despite having never successfully completed the whole game, it instilled a connection to skateboarding culture in me that couldn’t be erased. This is unfortunate because, even after all this time, I am still terrible at skateboarding. And also life. But I keep pushing forward on both endeavors despite a complete and utter lack of success at either.

I don’t have my own apartment. Or car. Or shoes, I cannot tell time on an analog clock, and even digital ones can be tricky sometimes. The only relationship I’ve ever been in turned out to be an automated customer service bot through the Uber Eats app. I have been beaten up by third graders four times. But just like with skating, I keep getting back up only to eat shit almost immediately, once again.

It would be one thing if all that had resulted in a modicum of ability when it comes to skating. But still, I keep practicing. I keep living. Beyond all logical reasoning I am still out here every day, just trying to stand upright for more than a few seconds before busting my literal and figurative face on the pavement. Someday I’ll finally land that ollie. And maybe then I’ll also finally land that job at Ollie’s.