TALLAHASSEE, Fla. — Florida’s state legislature is once again making waves nationwide after changing their official state bird from the Northern mockingbird to a parrot…
Kid Rock Wins Creepy Talent Show After Reciting Verbatim Every Age of Consent Law From All 50 States
Kid Rock Wins Creepy Talent Show After Reciting Verbatim Every Age of Consent Law From All 50 States
WACO, Texas. — Kid Rock was announced as the winner of a local talent show that catered to creeps after he recited the age of…
DURHAM, NC — Researchers at Duke University recently discovered that playing Tool for your newborn will cause them to grow up thinking they’re smarter, deeper,…
PHILADELPHIA — Jealous husband and punker Shaun Grables is starting to suspect that his wife is secretly having sex with The Dead Milkmen while he’s…
Controversy in the world of music is nothing new and the stellar reporters here at The Hard Times are always on top of the latest…
Anyone who has children knows kids are an absolute joy. They bring sunshine into your life and provide meaning in a world that is otherwise…
Times are tough. With gas prices in extreme fluctuation, it seemed like a prudent move on my part to start carpooling. My best friend and…
HOUSTON — Local punk Alec Ryers revealed that all four tires on his heavily used Honda Fit were spares, according to sources familiar with the…
Former NFL player and University of Georgia football darling Herschel Walker is currently running to be a United States senator representing the state of Georgia.…
Having grown discontent with the drudgery of modern-day life we decided to move out to the country to eat a lot of peaches. And yes…
SEATTLE – An enormous black hole sun capable of devouring the entire world and casting it into the void would come a lot faster if…
In Green Day’s song “Longview,” singer Billy Joe Armstrong makes reference to masturbating until it loses its fun. We decided to try this out and,…
Person Who Has Never Seen “Star Wars” Not Saying That Because They Want You to Show Them “Star Wars”
Person Who Has Never Seen “Star Wars” Not Saying That Because They Want You to Show Them “Star Wars”
CARSON CITY, Nev. — Local graphic designer Sam Davis regretted ever mentioning that he’s never seen “Star Wars” after being inundated with offers by everyone…
PHILO, Ohio — Local 8th grader and “true” punk Tim Krenalka reportedly knows his geography pretty well, but refuses to participate in any lesson which…
LANCASTER, Penn. — Local punk Jason Harris was disappointed that he is unable to bond with his father over their shared hatred of Joe Biden…