Help! I Keep Trying To Set Tesla Dealerships on Fire but the Cars Keep Exploding on Their Own
Like any aspiring anarchist, I want to do what I can to burn this entire rotten system to the ground…
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Stephen Bell
94 stories found
Opinion: Maybe Annexing Canada Wouldn’t Be So Bad if It Means We Don’t Have To Hear Both National Anthems at NHL Games
Look, everyone keeps talking about what a stupid idea it would be if the United States were to annex Canada…
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Fuck! I Accidentally Showed Competency in My Job and Now I’m Expected To Do Stuff
Fuck! I made a huge mistake at work and now I’m paying for it dearly. My huge mistake? Not making…
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Lead Singer Feels No Need to Tell Crowd He Can’t Hear Them After They Do A Legitimately Good Job Screaming The First Time
JACKSONVILLE – Lead singer of the alt-rock band Up Above declined to tell the audience he couldn’t hear them as…
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Musk and Trump Bond Over Which of Their Children They Hate Most and Which One They’d Most Like to Sleep With
WASHINGTON — The world’s richest man Elon Musk and President-elect Donald Trump are reportedly closer than ever after finding common…
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Negotiator Who Got Oasis Back Together Now Tasked With Much Easier Job of Convincing Israel to Agree to Ceasefire
LONDON – Negotiator Peter Franks decided to take on the much easier job of finally getting Israel to agree to…
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Anarchist Makes It 3 Weeks into New Collectivist Compound Before Realizing They Accidentally Joined Amish Village
RONKS, Penn. — Local anarchist and aspirational revolutionary Steven Franks felt foolish after discovering that he accidentally became part of…
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Latest Weezer Album to Be Based on Color That Only Mantis Shrimp and Several Bee Species Are Capable of Seeing
LOS ANGELES — Indie-rock band Weezer allegedly ran out of colors that are visible to the human eye on the…
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Therapist Clarifies That Self-Care Can Include Masturbation, But It Can’t Only Be Masturbation
LEXINGTON, KY. — Lily Jones, personal therapist to resident Alex Hirata, would like him to know that yes it’s okay…
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We Successfully Petitioned To Get Uncle Kracker Canceled but Now We Can’t Remember Why
Have you ever gotten so wrapped up in what you were doing you lost sight of why you were doing…
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