SEATTLE — Prospective model Magda “Mimi” Maiers had the Shutterstock watermark tattooed directly onto her forehead last week in the hopes of putting herself ahead…
BERKELEY, Calif. — Middle-aged anime fan Nick Klempf has accepted that at this point in his life, he no longer can produce nosebleeds without the…
ALBANY, N.Y. — Revered Rule 34 artist Sophia Zinn is no longer feeling inspired by her various drawings of Sonic eating out his friend Tails,…
It was earlier this month when I decided we would spend the day tripping. Nothing special, just my friends and I laying low. As many…
Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. OK, so I threw down 25 Gs on the puppy bowl. I did that. And I don’t want to welsch on…
CITY OF DIS, Hell — 78 percent of demons across the Netherworld experienced feelings of low self-esteem and body issues when subjected to the unrealistic…
OI’ve had strong opinions about politics ever since I picked up a copy of the Dead Kennedys’ “Fresh Fruit and Rotting Vegetables.” The year was…
From 1991 to 1999, the show Doug graced on our television screens and informed our childhoods. His awkward antics, active imagination, and strong moral compass…
HOLLAND, Mich. — Your 14-year-old cousin Blake Liston admitted to you yesterday that, as of two weeks ago, he smokes pot and it is “totally…
EARTH, Milky Way Galaxy — 2017 announced its resignation as our current year earlier today amidst numerous allegations of gross misconduct. “I’ve let a lot…
NEWTON, Mass. — Recently discovered Anal Cunt demo tapes will be released later this year, detailing new subjects former frontman Seth Putnam once considered “gay,”…