It was earlier this month when I decided we would spend the day tripping. Nothing special, just my friends and I laying low. As many of you know, when it comes to a good LSD experience you want a comfortable atmosphere and a lack of Vice reporters.
I went over to my friend Paulie’s house where we met up with Emily who brought the tabs. We each put three in our mouth and watched Holy Mountain as we waited for it to kick in. Everything was good and mellow. Suddenly my phone started ringing, which was weird because I turned my phone off. I heard this voice on the other end:
“Hello, this Randall from Vice, we heard you were taking acid and wondered if you wanted to write an article about your experience.”
What? How did they get this number? How did they know I was tripping? Even if I wasn’t at this state of mind this would’ve been upsetting. Emily asked me what was wrong but I was too freaked to explain.
I went outside. It’s always good to communicate with nature tripping balls so I climbed up a tree and felt the smooth leaves. A woman appeared out of nowhere, she wore a Grimes shirt as well as lots of tattoos. A microphone with the Vice logo was shoved in my face.
“Can you feel your mind expand?”
I don’t get how anybody but me would care about my trip. I just wanted to stare at stuff and laugh. I went to go climb down the tree but it was just worse.
They were everywhere. In the bushes, on the grass, some standing on telephone wires, and cars. Hipsters with Vice microphones as far as the eye can see. I slowly walked to my bicycle and peddled off to find peace in the rest of my trip. As I biked away I could hear them all.
“Where are you going? Can you write about it? Do you ever microdose?”
I hadn’t seen that many Vice reporters since the time I booted PCP with the Party Monster guy!
Article by Rob Steinberg Stobreinberg.com
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