ADELPHI, Md. — Local Mom, Susan Campbell, informed her son’s band to keep playing and not to pay her any mind as she is just…
If you are an older millennial who grew up in the suburbs, Epitaph’s Punk-O-Rama Compilations were your introduction to punk. Yes, they were. Your pre-teen…
NEW YORK — Local man Brian Crowley issued a press release begging anyone he encounters to please stop recommending television shows for him to watch…
Back when we were a proper country, rock stars were real men who wore spandex, fetish gear, and more hairspray than a Jersey housewife. Thankfully,…
WASHINGTON — A recent study conducted by Georgetown University showed that at least 90 percent of active math rock bands fail to meet their state’s…
Well folks, there’s not been much good news going on in this once proud town of ours. Heck, last week when your trusty man about-town…
NEW YORK — Attendees of a recent show by garage punk band, The Dooley’s, were reportedly infuriated that the ‘selfish pricks’ had the audacity to…
WASHINGTON — A new report from teachers, librarians, and anyone who has ever picked up a book at any point in their life rebuked claims…
STOCKTON, Calif. — Local punk Brian Hammond assured longtime friend Chris Wilson that although he could not attend his upcoming wedding, he would be sure…
BALTIMORE — Relatives of recently deceased punk Bryan Allen decided to postpone the beginning of his funeral until a few more mourners show up, sources…
CHICAGO — Local couple Nicole Vario and Peter Brooks opted to stay together as the mere idea of dating caused both of them to become…
The powers that be have decided it’s time for even more Aughts nostalgia, that magical time of Ed Hardy shirts, butt rock, and Paris Hilton.…
LOS ANGELES — Local man and self-described “music aficionado” Alex King once again paid $15 for access to a music streaming subscription despite only listening…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local drunk Peter Brooks was outraged to find that despite holding the high score on the bar’s AC/DC pinball machine bartender Ben…
GALAPAGOS ISLANDS — The Galapagos punk scene was in shock this morning after learning of the tragic death of up and coming tortoise, Sheldon, becoming…