FARMINGDALE, N.Y. — Bob Dylan fan Eric Donnelly panicked after a classic rock station played three Dylan songs in a row, leading him to assume…
CENTERVILLE, Ohio — Spaceboy Records clerk and “total poser” Matthew Wright was shamefully only able to name 22 of 25 studio albums by indie-rock band…
I’m a pretty normal guy, I’ve got a job, I’ve got hobbies. I like to go to the movies and the park. I usually keep…
ALAMOGORDO, N.M. — A recently opened GameStop experiencing a rash of paranormal phenomena was discovered to be built atop the infamous landfill containing cartridges of…
BEAUFORT, S.C.— Shantal Addams was shocked to find that several characters she created in the video game The Sims had developed an interest in the…
OTTAWA, Ontario — The Canadian Parliament passed a law yesterday requiring all citizens over the age of 18 to spend two years serving as a…
HADDONFIELD, N.J. — 13-year-old “badass” Aiden Christian spent Saturday afternoon skateboarding with friends and spray-painting the anarchy symbol on the Queen Highway Overpass before rushing…
NEW YORK — The legendary art-rock band the Velvet Underground eagerly anticipate the band’s upcoming discovery by thousands of college freshmen this fall semester and subsequent…
AUBURN HILLS, Mich. — Phish manager Coran Capshaw desperately pleaded with enthusiastic Phish fans last night to stop tapping on the glass tour bus windows…
I’m a very open-minded person. As such, my tastes and preferences are pretty wide-ranging. On any given day I could find myself enjoying pop-punk, EDM,…
WIDOWBRIAR — Video game protagonist Danaes has reportedly assured final boss the Hollowsplicer, Scourge of Xissan, that the many side quests he completed before their epic…
PHILADELPHIA — Local pet owner Dylan Murphy could not find a suitable adoptive home for his beloved pet cockatoo last week, despite incessantly screaming “FREE…
WASHINGTON — Newly hired White House Communications Director Anthony “The Mooch” Scaramucci was fired by President Trump today, after only ten days on the job,…
DETROIT — Self-described “loose cannon” police officer Lance Colt is much less like the renegade hero Mel Gibson plays in Lethal Weapon, and way more…
MERRICK, N.Y. — Seminal emo/indie rockers Brand New are hard at work writing the soundtrack of your drunken, late-night phone call to your high school…