Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

September 8, 2019

LEVITTOWN, Pa. — Couple Samantha Dean and Adrian Benezette realized after visiting Benezette’s hometown last week that a poorly run,…

September 5, 2019

URBANA, Ill. — Critically-acclaimed emo band American Football was fooled again this week by an early September spike in online…

September 5, 2019

HORSHAM, Pa. — Local uncle and baby boomer Don Waldemire added the incredibly popular, carbonated alcoholic beverage White Claw today…

September 3, 2019

TWIN FALLS, Idaho — Local man Raymond Kieffer set a new personal record moments ago by wearing his beret for…

August 29, 2019

TRENTON, N.J. — A group of punks’ plan to invite geriatric next-door neighbor Zofia Gorski to a party so she…

August 21, 2019

JERSEY CITY, N.J. — Local infamous “Kilt Guy” Jeremy Flanagan played a dangerous, nard-threatening game last night by crowd surfing…

August 18, 2019

An alarming and depressing new study found that Baby Boomers are still, for the most part, very much alive and…

August 15, 2019

The infamous, anonymous street artist Banksy is as known for his subversive artwork as his reclusive nature. Imagine our surprise…

August 14, 2019

LOS ANGELES — A mysterious pair of sunglasses discovered by local crust punk and drifter Rick “Zilch” Toombs allegedly allow…

August 11, 2019

TACOMA, Wash. — A dangerously overloaded powerstrip providing electricity to every amplifier, light, and smoke machine on stage at a…