HARTFORD, Conn. — Beleaguered local drummer Sadie Plemmons assigned all future ride cymbal playing to a recently-hired sous-drummer in order to help with her percussion…
NEW YORK — Legendary Talking Heads frontman David Byrne awoke full of terror last night when he once again dreamed he was performing in only…
MIAMI — Super Bowl LIV between the Kansas City Chiefs and the San Francisco 49ers was ground to a screeching halt today when the Arizona…
PLATTSBURGH, N.Y. — The seven-year age gap separating local couple Alison Connors and Edgar Lawrence continues to be a major hurdle for their relationship, especially…
ITHACA, N.Y. — Audience members at last night’s show headlined by indie rock quintet Hammock and Tree all agreed that the band’s “impromptu” dialogue between…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — Mid-level pop-punk band Cabbagepatchkids will never know how close they were to making it big, thanks to the total neglect of their…
SYDNEY, Australia — Developers behind the popular mid-2000s peer-to-peer sharing platform Kazaa announced today that files labeled “Tom_Green_Sausage_Song_AudioREAL_FUNNY” will headline the inaugural Kazaalapalooza later this…
OGDEN, Utah — Local parents Sydney and Cole Pickard were informed by a family doctor yesterday that their teenage son Evan is showing distinct, potentially…
BRANSON, Mo. — Teddy Hitherton, the lead guitarist and backup vocalist of The Hitherton Family Jamboree Gang, announced yesterday that he would continue as a…
HAVERHILL, Mass. — A punk-themed ice cream truck impressed potential patrons yesterday with a raw, energetic version of “Turkey in the Straw” that lasted roughly…
TEMPE, Ariz. — Local idiot Eli Burkhardt made a fool of himself today by accidentally cutting off his jeans vertically, leaving the back of his…
BARRE, Vt. — Audience members at a local mixed bill show have collectively agreed to stick around for a little longer, curious to see how…
DANBURY, Conn. — Local woman Allison Moore brought some joy to an otherwise somber moment earlier today by delivering the eulogy for her late mother…
NORWELL, Mass. — Animal, the eccentric drummer of Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem, signed a lucrative endorsement deal today agreeing to only eat Zildjian…
NEW YORK — Veteran street musician Doug “The Jackrabbit” Landers was once again criticized today for his awful sound quality, raising the prospect of possibly…