TACOMA, Wash. — Local punk band Dungeons and Koalas applied their optimistic mindset to see a completely empty venue during their set as half full,…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Overly careful punk Jimmy Reynolds patiently waited 30 minutes after eating a full meal before stage diving into an active pit, sources…
Hey songwriters! You wanna improve your chops? You wanna write a song that connects with the audience on an emotional level while staying stuck in…
LOS ANGELES — Highly distinguished drummer and body art curator Travis Barker recently admitted that he spends a good few hours every morning painstakingly reapplying…
Funny how time works. One day we’re living in the ‘90s wearing high-waisted dad jeans, watching ‘Seinfeld,’ and talking about ‘The Matrix.’ Then all of…
BEACON, N.Y. — A local raccoon known around the neighborhood simply as “that thing in the yard” could not believe someone would throw away a…
NEW YORK — Local punk band Horny Horny Hippos magically transformed into a supergroup when a spider living in their practice space turned radioactive and…
SEATTLE — Local guitarist Griffin Barens carefully submerged his soaked amplifier into 10,000 pounds of uncooked rice after playing a rainy outdoor show in hopes…
LANCASTER, N.H. — A local historian of punk rock recently unearthed incontrovertible evidence that GG Allin’s full name was actually Gilmore Girls Allin, sources who…
Science nerds will tell you that climate change is an existential threat to our world, but more importantly, to our corporations. That being the case,…
PERTH AMBOY, N.J. — Friends and family of local punk Ricky Ballstead report he is aging “like a fine PBR” and very much proud about…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Best Buy’s nationwide Black Friday sale reportedly includes huge discounts on labor with their employees being paid half-off of what they should…
HUMPTULIPS, Wash. — Local “rise and grinder” Jake Munchen is reportedly trying to break into the venue security career field by practicing crossing his arms…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Tesla recently revealed the prototype for their new self-driving Dragula that can independently dig through ditches and burn through witches, sources…
Dear poor Republican voters. Are you stupid or something? I’m only asking because you keep voting against your interests. Did you know that the politicians…